心裡的寧靜

躺在這彈跳床上，
汗水溜溜得全身被大自然的微風
輕輕地包圍著，
溫柔地愛護著。
這刻，心裡滿足得很。
即使曾經氣喘過，
雙腳疲累過，
心志軟弱過，
此時此刻，
還是如期地完成了任務。

眼睛凝望著天空，
後院的三棵大樹合力湊成不同花邊的相框，
讓變幻萬千的雲朵擁有著各自獨特的一幅美麗圖畫。
這時，心裡歌頌天父。
即使環境變幻無常，祂的愛永不改變！

好不平凡的旁晚，
小小鳥兒們及人們的“大鳥”不時地在天空一閃而過，
就連梁祝也趁著熱鬧的飛來飛去。
其實，不平凡的一切總來自用特別的眼光看待平凡的事物。

從前三顆，現在也三顆

幾年前冬天的某一天，突然想到帶著三顆lifesavers糖，鑰匙和手提電話，身上甚麼也沒有，就那樣，很簡單的，一個人在佈到滿地雪的大公園里走著，看著，想著。。。

幾年後的今天，依然沒甚麼大改變。唯一不同的就是帶了椰子糖，多了十元，也多了一張月卡。但是根本就沒有想過要用這些東西，只是以備不時之需而已。

老實說，另外一樣不同的是自己的態度。這次我這樣子在一個寒冷的聖誕前夕到外面跑是有原因的。一些不太愉快的原因，一些令我心裡覺得特別難受，特別無助的原因。選擇在晚上跑除了自己喜歡“冒險”加上自己衝動的性格之外，就是這些不愉快的原因激發了我。

不愉快的原因之一是關於今天發生的事情。原本今天可以開開心心地跟媽媽一起去平安夜崇拜， 但她臨時竟然約朋友去了賭場，留下我和小弟兩個人在家。都不知多少次了，每次約她都是這樣，總是食言。信用完全是負數。媽媽還沒回到家時，小弟就不停地催我打電話給她，好讓她經過唐人街帶點好吃的東西回來。誰知道她竟然對我們發很大的脾氣，還說我很懶，在家裡連煮飯也不要煮。可她卻忘了小弟特別挑吃，最討厭的就是吃飯。

今年的平安夜，過得很糟糕。在這個家裡，一點平安夜的氣氛也感受不到。只感受到媽媽的無奈，弟弟的無知，自己的無能。當然，當中自己也有很多負面的情緒來源於憤怒。剛剛腦子里甚麼也不想，只想著離開家裡，透透氣。儘管外面很冷，至少，我能自己一個人靜著，想著，禱告著。

冬天里跑步。儘管沒帶ipod，戴上帽子和圍巾一樣能夠有跟世界隔離的感覺。剩下的，是自己帶著節奏感的呼吸聲和胸前掛著長長的一串鑰匙碰撞聲。天氣很冷，冷到自己感覺不了雙腿了。但跑得特別爽，因為人在動著，慢慢地越過兩旁的燈和樹，卻感受不到雙腿有在跑著。

繞過大公園（Boston Common）的自己毫無方向地跑著，走著，想著。。。其實跑去哪裡都不重要，我只貪圖跑步的過程能夠讓我的心靈能夠有安靜的時間去想想事情。有時候經過某些地方就會特意停留一下，回憶一下。看到美麗的東西也留下腳步，心裡讚美一下，感受一下，照相留念一下。然後繼續我的路程。今晚路上的人特少，大概都留在家裡休息，慶祝或跟朋友聚會了吧。我今年甚麼也沒有計畫，一老早就想好了這個週末無論如何也要跟家人一起過。即使是留在家一整天也無所謂。從前的自己太貪玩了，總是不在家。大學過後真的很想多多留在家裡，因為跟家人相處的時間就是愛的表現嘛。很諷刺地，今天留在家裡一整天媽媽竟然出去了，當她回來，我又生氣地走了出來。愛，仍需耐心。愛，仍需包容。愛，仍需好脾氣。

路上經過的人全都穿得厚厚的衣服，因為今天真的是“冬天”里的平安夜。其實跑了大概十幾分鐘以後我的氣也全消了。因為我所帶的圍巾，是媽媽買給我的。我剛剛找圍巾戴的時候它依然是在袋子里面，全新。後來我也想到了facebook的照片，我可是要這個假期特別愛這位美女呢！怎麼能繼續生她的氣呢？

想著想著，跑到了公共花園（Public Garden）。一進去就聞到了有陣大麻的味道。本想著要掉頭走，但我看看周圍，其實也沒有甚麼人。只有我面前幾個普通路人。突然間我想起了之前BC學過的自衛和防狼術，所以膽子好像又變大了。繼續往前跑。

經過了美麗的橋之後，我來到了以前Walk for Hunger時走過的一段路。

這段路兩排的樹都穿上了閃閃發光的燈泡，很美很美。讓我感覺好像之前的煩惱都不在了，不愉快的感覺也沒有了，就被美美的燈光吸引著，包圍著；我心裡蠻享受這種Alice in the Wonderland 的感覺。

剛剛踏入Boston Common的時候我吃了第一顆椰子糖，在踏入這些美麗的燈光前我開始吃第二顆。這次氣消了之後跑步的態度明顯地不一樣。跑得更加享受，更加自由，更加留意周圍的一切。有時候我真的覺得自己是一個內向的人。因為我總愛一個人做自己喜歡做的事情。人多了，我就覺得麻煩。話多了，我會覺得很吵。很多時候我就是喜歡這樣一個人，想東西，不用理會跟別人交流或溝通。這應該叫做私人空間吧。呵呵。

跑著跑著，我經過了一個有趣的地方叫做Woman Memorial。那裡有三位女強人的銅像，我貪玩地給其中一個照了張相。不過照出來的效果好像跟銅像原本的意義不太一樣。我照片中銅像的銅手剛好點到了燈光。讓銅像好像正在畫著燈光閃閃樹的倒影。我認為照片跟原來的意義不太一樣是因為這張照片反映了女性比較柔弱的一面。至少我覺得畫畫本來就是傳統女孩子應該做的事情。而這些銅像反映的是這三位女英雄不顧社會的反對和欺壓，大膽講出自己理想中男女平等的生活。那種勇氣，非常值得敬佩。

Anyway，

嘻嘻，如果銅像會動，她應該已經拍了一下我的頭了。

Original:ArtistMeredith Bergmann created these sculptures in Oct 25, 2003. (The same year when I came to Boston!!!)

"Each woman is shown in a pose that reflects the use of language in her life and instead of standing on her pedestal, she is using it. This memorial combines symbols found in the traditional sculptures surrounding it, but uses them in new and original ways.” － Cityofgov.org

漫步地跑了大概十五分鐘之後，我終於到達了這條路的盡頭。很興奮地拍照留念。我提頭看看周圍，原來我已經跑過了Copley 圖書館和Prudential了！這條路還真比我想像中的長。

在回去的路上，我給自己定了時間，開始吃第三顆也是最後一顆椰子糖。由 10：30分開始跑，看看我到底要多長時間可以跑到原點。一路快跑慢跑地跑著，我發現原來有些樹還穿著葉子！我不知道為何我會那麼驚訝，不過我就是驚訝到一個程度我決定把它拍下來。。。嘻嘻。其實有葉子沒有葉子的都很美。Doesn't make a difference。美，就是美。

結果很快，八分鐘之後，我一刻也沒停過地將這段路跑完了。
第三椰子糖也很堅強，支撐我到了家門口才算完成任務，退下了。

最後這張照片及這些話，代表了我今天寶貴的收穫。

Forrest Gump, after running for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours:

"I'm pretty tired... I think I'll go home now." 

I didn't understand how he feels while watching the movie, now I do...

起跑時，

我不知自己的目的地。

只知道自己就是喜歡跑。

盡情地跑步讓我心情放鬆。

有一刻我在想，
為何Forrest Gump能堅持跑這麼遠。。。

是因為他真的喜歡跑步嗎？

是因為那是Jenny唯一留給他的回憶嗎？

還是因為他就是他，聆聽自己的心，喜歡做就做？

起跑時，

我的確不知道自己的方向。

但我清楚我的起發點，

我所面對的情況，

以及我當時的心情。

我沒有明確的路要跑，

但我知道只要跑到滿足，就停下來，

以"I'm pretty tired... I think I'll go home now." 的態度起程回家

儘管我多麼喜歡跑步，多麼享受一個人的時間，多麼不肯面對自己的短處及煩惱，
home，is still and always will be my sweet home。


累了，就回家吧。
心靈累了，就回到心靈的家吧。

跑步 －》寧靜 －》心中的安靜 －》聆聽 聖靈的聲音 －》放下軟弱，靠近及依靠 神

給我親愛的兩位。。。

有一對年老的夫婦，他們一直都是默默地支持BCNC。

他們很有錢，但他們從不囂張也不顯耀自己所擁有的。

我們只見過幾次，但每次交談都如爺爺奶奶那般親切。

我覺得自己很幸運，

或者這樣說吧，

天父真的很保佑我，

總是將人間天使擺在我身邊，讓我總是感受被愛！

在我生命中，

有很多人根本不可能跟我這樣的年齡，背景及生活中很多不同的方面都任何有接觸，

往往認識這些人不是跟我擦身而過，而是我並肩而行，時時給予我鼓勵和支持。

即使他們比我早出生幾十年，但他們願意陪伴著我的成長，關心著我的一切。

像他們這樣的人我生命中有很多，真的很感謝主！

卡片前面寫的是我申請大學這個過程的總結：

“sometimes what I want, 

I don't get.

Yet in my belief,

God always knows 

me better than 

myself

So I gratefully accept,

and embrace

every moment  

of

LIFE

It always turns out 

that

His plan is always better than mine"

:)

真的，從前我總認為女校很適合我。

一天到晚都是想著進女校。

曾經我猶豫過一下，但因為習慣了舊想法，

所以就將那份猶豫打退，繼續像女校進發。

當我很固執地一定要進這女校時，神讓我學習了祂才是掌管一切的 神。

到了我在BC遇到一些情況及認識一些交得過心的朋友，

我才發現，還是 神為我預備的學校比較好。

個人的成長，不在於學校，

真正在於這個人如何從生活里看見 神奇妙的安排及背後的美意，

從而活出生命的真義。

p e a c e at bc

Here I am

sitting under a tree with such well-grown branches 

that it c o m p l e t e l y  s w a l l o w s  me inside its dark shadow

If I were to 

seek out 

for 

the 

bright 

sunlight

I must be aggressive and fight my way through

multiple layers of leaves above me

that 

separates 

me

and 

the sky 

where I believe 

I 

belong

The big Gasson Hall bell

is making noises again

"Ding Ding Ding"

as if it were my personal protest:

LET ME OUT! 

I WANT TO BE WHERE THE LIGHT IS!

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COLORFUL WORLD?!

The protest remain in silence simply because...

the birds

that are flying above me

out-voices me

when I look up towards the sky again

all I see is a layer of grey clouds

separating 

me 

and 

the sunlight

where I still believe 

I 

belong

***

I take a d e e p breath

***

Instead

of 

looking

up

I decide to 

look 

a-r-o-u-n-d

Then I see something interesting.

Guess what?

As layers of leaves

and couple of build blocks

cause the sky to form an irregular triangle 

within my sight

then

I see blue.

Besides that,

I see 

people's moving shadow

dark, different length, and constantly switching shape

except for this time,

the darkness comes from the light

that I've been searching for

that I believe I belong

that I still believe I belong

***

In a matter of seconds

I am going to get up

and walk towards that piece of the bright sky

that I just discovered

The day is good

and will be good

because it is what you make of it

and more importantly,

it is what you believe you will make of it

***

 p e a c e at bc

Mid-night enjoyment- reading Antigone :)

"We are asked to see that a conflict-free life would be lacking in value and beauty next to a life in which it is possible for conflict to arise; that part of the value of each claim derives from a special separateness and distinctness that would be eclipsed by harmonization."- Nussbaum (1986, p.81)

So well and beautifully written. I totally agree!!! This was the exact idea that I attempted to express to my dearest Sagwa Shawnna Fighta earlier on facebook chat while updating each other about college. To put the idea into simpler words: life without struggles is not worth living because we do not get to grow to our fullest. My beliefs is that the more struggles, the more one can grow. Of course, there are different direction of where one could grow- be defeated and grow into a failure, or be victorious and grow into someone truly beautiful. I know I have the most Powerful and Mighty God by my side, I will be victorious! 

At first, I was not a big fan of this cover so I thought Antigone was a play that I never read before. But as I read more about the introduction, I realized I read Antigone in the huge high school literary book! Absolutely love this play! I noticed that my little bro Jin and I both have affinity for anything Greek related. I love reading about Greek culture and how the ancient people interact with each other. I then combine what I know from watching Chinese drama to the lifestyle and values Greeks. They are so different in millions of ways yet so similar! 

I really enjoy reading. 

It provides me a safe and calm space to just go back to the minds of people who lived thousands of years before me, and to connect with them as if they were still alive! 

Reading also allows me to grow not physically, but mentally and spiritually. I get to grow from my heart as new epiphanies come up everything I read something triggers my thoughts.

Reading expands my views of the world.

Therefore, I would never stop reading! :) 

let me

keep r-e-a-d-i-n-g

Keep t...h...i...n...k...i...n...g

Keep growiNG

Poetry for OTE

"like a beautiful butterfly spreading her wings 

towards the gorgeous sunflower fields"

these are the last words in my college essay

Stay beautiful, Yanyi.

No matter where you are in the future,

be yourself and stay beautiful

That's my promise for my future self

Over and over again I told myself, 

I am ready

I am ready to leave

I am ready to explore

I am ready to grow

I am ready to be heard

I am ready to fly away

fly far far away...

But wait,

I heard a voice holding me back.

In Chinese she says,

daughter,

don't go too far

this family can not afford to lose you

your little brother needs you

I am not ready to let you go

the world is too dangerous

I need keep you by my side

so I can watch over you

don't go too far

I took her words into my heart,

but I excused myself:

Mother, please let me go.

let me go out to the world

so I can learn to protect you

I will be back

I promise.

Six weeks into OTE,

I realize that the world is so big,

that I can never understand how each and every of you

rises above your hardships and survives to make it to OTE

I may not understand, 

but I can listen.

I can try to feel how you feel.

In a community with 47 other OTE scholars,

every single day,

I learned from 47 different personalities.

I remembered the first time when a scholar shared with me her story

in the green line back to Boston.

The ride felt longer than usual,

because I was exposed to a heartfelt conversation

that I rarely experience

The strength in her voice,

and the passion in her eyes,

painted her face with angelic beauty.

I told her

I can never understand what you went through

but I promise to be your support.

I may not be there in the past,

but I promise I will be there for you in the future.

That was actually the moment when OTE is no longer just a summer program,

OTE is my new family. 

Just as I promise my mother,

I decided to protect every friend that I meet at OTE, and at Boston College.

Because I believe that everyone is beautiful.

We all deserve to be beautiful.

First part of the poem that I performed today.

To be continued... :)

until I type up that other half... heheee

MORNING MORNING!!!

Dear Yanyi Weng,
just wanted to say ADD OIL!
I have three minutes to spare before I need to start editing my essay.
One more week I will be out of here :)
finish strong, make me proud!!!

Despite the absence of Grandpa Sun, let me make every day bright by living every moment of it. Be the sunshine for others... ADD OIL!!!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I am missing something... please open my eyes of my heart and let me see it.

In Your beloved Son's name,
Amen.

You're my Love!

The more I seek, the more I realize how much I am loved by You Lord.


In a gloomy day like today, You put sister in Christ Beryl near me, and allow her to ask me if I wanted to pray at the moment when I needed it the most. As we joined together to share our experiences and our walk with you, my heart just can not stop from praising Your name!!! You are so worthy of our praises!!! As we prayed together, I could feel the burden drops from my shoulder and I felt so refreshed! I am simply satisfied with what had happened today :) Regardless of the morning, tonight's Talent Show was wonderful- performed with best roommie Rosemary *sang, played guitar, and acted (a little =P), Sushi buffet with Alpha, Evy& Steve at Yamato, late night walking in the rain back BC... As Evy described, the rain felt 'rebirthing'. I nodded my head, indeed. 


I have not walk in the rain for so long. I remember how much I used to love rain and the feeling of walking in rain. As I get a little older, I begin to dislike the wetness, and I care a little bit more about my clothes and my hair. Time to get back to these old carefree days and just be natural. Embrace nature. Yanyi Weng, don't forget your screen name is: art_of_nature!!!


<3
THANK YOU GOD!
SIX FLAG TMR.
Be Back Later.
<3

Floating vs. Faith

Tonight was definitely a test of faith.
God helped me aced it.
♫♬ Hallelujah! Grace like rain... falls down on me ♫♬



At BC,
I recently decided to go to the pool whenever time permits. The motive was simple: I wanted to learn how to swim!!! Swimming such an important life skill to have and I can not allow my adventurous-self to miss out! Want to know my motivation on not giving up?--- These little kids that swam way better than me in the pool. They were having so much in the water while I struggled to keep nose above the water...

Funny story: Last thursday there was this 5-year-old kiddo being thrown into the 12 feet (note: 12 feet is the deepest part of the whole pool, I was holding my blue floater like it was my God), he was trying so hard that his facial expression changed at least 5 times in 3 seconds... kids... I adore!!!

Last friday was a milestone for me in my swimming progress: I was able to swim half a lap without stopping and able to float for at least 10 seconds!!! I was so proud of myself, so were my friends! I learned important life lessons from swimming: discipline, trust that the water will hold me up (same trust in God), and conquer my fear by believing in my own ability to accomplish anything that I set my mind to.

There are two things I really want to overcome before going to college: swimming and singing. Before, I struggled with singing more than the fear of water due to earlier bad experience and discouragements. But I think I am making significant progress as I learn to appreciate my unique voice and build up more confidence through practices.  My fear of water originated from when I was younger, I fell into this big hold filled with dirty water. I was not able to breathe and I choked. Somebody's big hand pulled me up just in time for me to survive. Thank God. But ever since then, I hate the feeling of unable to breathe, especially underwater. It makes me sick. But as I watched my friends swimming like dolphins, and my inner desire to swim like a beautiful mermaid, I overcame my fear of water. This swimming skill did not come without a price: I scratched my two right hand fingers again the pool wall, crashed my left knee underwater, drank over 1-liters of pool water, choked like crazy, and got bit 4 times on my toes from some Martha's Vineyard vicious crabs. >_____<

Regardless of all the "injuries" listed above, my overall experience for learning how to swimming is extremely positive. I can now proudly say to people: I know how to swim!!!

Swim: check!
Sing: check!

YAY.
Mission accomplished.

My next goal is to swimming at least 5 laps back and forth in the pool!

Quick note。。。

So last Sunday Service God encouraged me to create a reunion for others to come and just worship Him on this coming Sat. With the short amount of time left, I am reminded to be faithful in God and trust that His plan never fails.

Indeed, I am now lifting my hands up to You and pray that You will guide me, as well as guiding others, to rediscover the passion for You Lord. For You alone deserves the best of the best, for You alone no one can replace, for You alone deserves our everything. I pray that whoever receives the calling to come this Sat will not turn it down. I also pray that even if no one comes, I will continue the reunion because it is not the number of people that counts, it is the heart and passion for You that counts. Sat 5:30pm to 8:30pm is absolutely reserved for You my Lord.

I am so looking forward for this reunion to turn into a revival in You Lord. 

You deserve so so SO much more!!!

<3

信是未曾看见 依然仰望十架 
信是完全交托 深知主已掌权 
我靠着那加给我力量的 凡事都能做 
或风浪或低谷 主平安在我心 
我靠着那加给我力量的 凡事都能做 
行在主的旨意 我凡事都能做 

It makes me really sad when I see my friends suffer. especially my close friends. Sometimes I wish I can find a way to communicate with them, share God's peace and love with them, so that they can experience the same exciting life as I always do! with hope, with faith and with love!!!

Before I met Jesus, and how He died on the cross, I tried to live my life relying on myself. Even as a Christian right now, I still sometimes fall back into my old self and rely on my power human power. But after I met Jesus, my eyes were open to Hope, Faith and Love. I can see beauty in all God's creation. Even this world may be ugly, we are still lovable people. How do I know? Because Jesus paid His life for us. Sin covered us human beings with an ugly appearance, yet in God's eyes, we are His beloved creation. Ever since God created Adam according to His own image, we reflects God's face.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."- Genesis 1:27.


God never promise us a life without suffering, but He promises us that we would experience His love and His power through suffering. We would gain strength and power to overcome suffering. We would get to know more about this Creator.


Speaking for myself, 
I want to let today be a day to renew my spiritual life. 
I want to discipline myself and spend time on what is worthy.
I want to cast away my old self and live a new life for God.
I want no comfort zone but continue to walk in God's planned journey.
I want to admit I am weak, but He is strong.
I believe that everything is possible in God.

Just do what you gotta do...

Aiya~ it is so hard for me to admit my wrongdoings...
it's worst
when i am not willing to open my mouth
and admit them right away!

as time pass, the demonic me pops up in my left shoulder
and tell me to forget about it,

but then the angelic me wants me to admit my wrongdoings
and get rid of the hard feelings...

so what do i do?

: ) 

break apart my old stubborn self, 

do what I gotta do.

break my pride,

let me be a lovable person, once again! 

thank YOU for your forgiveness in advance, 

and your acceptance ^_________^ 

mango drink, on me. <3

So comforting to know that You are my Creator，my God，my Heavenly Father！！

候鳥與心跳

作曲：羅天緯
填詞：甄燕鳴
主唱：謝文雅

聽鳥聲多清脆層次有分類
雁去燕歸每年程序伴四季興衰
看幼鷹眼光尖銳翔翱未會累
大自然滿生趣
完美精深設計是誰

＃雀鳥不耕不收誰看顧保佑
俗世妄想渴求送走愉快也自由
過往多壓迫感受全部掉腦後
不需計較追究
神賜深恩 天天足夠

＊創始終萬世君 袮腳下我太渺少
面對宇宙再比照人一世暫如十秒
要把握上帝恩無窮盡 確實奇妙
袮從來待我像至寶般重要
甚至點算我的心跳
Repeat ＃＊

讚嘆一花一草 高低闊窄合度
每秒鐘心跳有定數
Repeat ＊

Fight on...

Wednesday, half way through the week!

Most useful tips of the week:

Eat well, sleep well, and then study.

-Mr. Huie

I've been struggling with this issue since the day I met Procrastination. Our relationship is surprisingly close over the last few years, regardless of my constant effort to be apart. Hopefully I can handle this relationship with clever skills so it won't affect my life!

Being a people's person, I always find myself placing "people" before "things" in my priority list. But when it comes to exams, I need to respect my time to prepare for exams! From now on, may my pessimistic attitude (mix with laziness) be changed and be renewed! I want to be motivated and have the right attitude towards school, friends and life!!!

Let's add oil together!

^_____________^

Happy Easter!!!

Renewed.
:)

Kids Worship sermon, learned so much.
Exhausted body, but my spirit is so high!
All the strength came from God,
my soul cried out with joy!
Hallelujah Lord.
Thank You for Your cross.
Thank You for Your resurrection that brings us forever hope.
<3

A beautiful mistake!

So so so ...
more than 2 people had mentioned to me that I got my Wheaton college wrong.
Wheaton in Chicago is a Christian college; Wheaton in Ma is a liberal arts college!
Hahaha, indeed I made a major mistake. But a beautiful one. :)

I believe it is not an accident that I got it wrong though!
It was after that post I decided to lift up everything, particular my college decision, to God. At that moment, I really felt peace in heart. I told God in my prayer that no matter where He wants me to go, I will go. regardless.

Literally less than a day later, I received my super surprised acceptance letter from BC. You won't believe how excited I was when I got the mail!!! I just went from the abyss of the ocean valley to the apex of the universe! If my ceiling didn't have a limit, I would jump so high that I could dance on the cloud, sing with the birds, and shine the world with the sun through my cheezy smile. LOL!

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 


this is my quote of the year! no joke!!! This quote provided me shelter and security when nothing else on earth could cheer me up. Only God's word did. A hope and a future, when we believes, everything will turn out to be alright. This is God's promise and He never ever ever ever fails me!


My spiritual life once again revived. 
For the whole college process, I used to tell the old seniors not to worry, just lift it to God. But when it comes to myself, I felt so tired to pray or to even ask God for His advise. I thought everything would just be okay, no need to pray specially for college. Boy, I was so wrong!!! God wants me to participate in His work, He wants me to experience His presence and His perfect timing! Like Maxine and Jamie said, "timing is everything"! I do not think anybody would deny such a perfect moment of timing to be just an accident! Hallelujah, thank God for Your timing and Love my Lord!!!


BC envelope was not just a regular acceptance letter. It is a special program where BC offers me a transitional summer program to strengthen my academics, enhance diversity, and an opportunity to enrich my social life at campus! The moment I received the envelope, I knew this is the direction that God wants me to go. He has prepared this for me allllll along! Everything needed is just me to obey Him and to seek His will. Silly me, I was so doubtful on that Friday when Wellesley and Smith did not take me. I was so down because I was trying to hold on to my own desire so much. God is teaching me an important lesson here: not to focus on the world, need not to meet their expectation. Focus on God instead, be willing to meet His expectation (though I will never be able to live up to his standard), God will give me the strength to get through all obstacles! 


If I could relive my life for the past two weeks, I would choose the same thing. I would rather experience God and follow the path that He has prepared for me than to choose my own path which involves negative feelings over certain expectations. 


Life is good, truly, when one accepts God into his/her life. Not because we will no longer experience disappointment, pain, and sorrow, but because we know that there is always someone more important than anything we have in this life- that is God/Jesus Christ/ Holy Spirit Himself. I will always have joy in my heart, through good times and bad times, because God is constantly teaching me a lesson to learn. He is preparing my faith to enter eternity.  
" Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


Being joyful is heavenly peace, not just happiness. Happiness depends on people, materials and circumstances; being joyful is free from all of these. For joy comes from God alone, it is long lasting and forever sweet. It is just that sometimes we chose not to be joyful; we refused to accept God's present of joy. 


I recently realized that being joyful is not just a choice or plainly a state of feeling, it is a command from God. It involves obedience (obey God by doing what is His willing) and it involves love (love for God, therefore to please Him). 

Let me clear all my senses on this world and focus on my God alone! His plan is way better than my plan. and His will is way better than my will. So why choose the latter?