Over-reflecting, does it even exist?

something is
m___i___s___s___i___n___g

If I can only articulate my words
paint my thoughts into a picture
analyze and come to a conclusion
of some sort
LIFE would be much better

but life is good, isn't it?
life IS good...
yet so many desires awaiting to be fulfilled
so many dreams getting lost in fear
What happened to contentment?

an important part of my life is
m___i___s___s___i___n___g
I have yet to find out what
thinking outside of the box,
breaking through the limits,
Oh how freedom comes with risks and sacrifices
Courage must accompany freedom
or else one would get lost in the boundlessness
Faith must also accompany freedom
or else one would stop believing in dream, in fulfillment
but what is freedom then if it must be accompanied by something else?

Psalm 42:5

 ⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.

「我的心哪，你為何憂悶﹖為何在我裡面煩躁﹖應當仰望神，因他笑臉幫助我；我還要稱讚他。」(詩42:5)

http://www.fundamentalbook.com/article129.htm

Conclusion:
over-reflection is an invisible disease.
Reflect accordingly, with hope.
Reflect on reflections that reflect God's love.
:))

BC记：洗衣房里熟悉的陌生人

想早睡，但睡不着
很多画面在脑子里超速地转动
大部分都是因为今天所发生的事情
一些不太愉快的经历
其它的画面也离不开大学的经历
心里感觉有些事情需要记下
所以就断然起来
打开电脑
记录心情

过去的一个月发生了很多事情
不止是大学的过渡期
还有个人心理上都面对了很多的挑战

前阵子心里总是有“凌空”的感觉？
可能是因为上大学前
自己私自决定了倒空自己
以为这样会让一切从头开始
更加能够体验大学的生活
这是一种最错误的想法
也是一种最可怕的态度
如朋友大伟所分享的：
“要带着真实的自己进大学
不要为了配合所谓的“大学生活”而改变原来的自己
做自己喜欢做的事情”＊

话说昨晚十一点多突然即兴想洗衣服。冲动的我就赶紧将脏衣服塞进紫色的洗衣背包里，不到五分钟就起程了。当我像贼子一样背着大大的洗衣包推开洗衣房的门时，我注意到靠左边有一位头戴绿帽子的长发男孩正在读书。见他那么专心，我也没想跟他打招呼。后来他见有人进来，就礼貌地说了声“hi”。见他还挺友善的，我也就礼貌地“hey”回去了。他接着赞我的洗衣包好看，我也像刚才差不多，回了声“谢谢”。但这次不同的是我的回应比较轻松和处于内心的。

老实说，当时我心理上有这样一种错误的想法：他只不过是一位我常见，但不曾打招呼，也脑子里一点印象都没有的男邻居。反正跟他／们（男的白人）也没什么好聊的，就随便互当透明罢了。免得一旦短短的话题没了，就开始尴尬的沉默。我为自己这样的想法而感到羞愧。虽然我没有明显地表现出种族歧视，但我从皮肤的颜色到穿着的外表上先入为主地否定了他人，抹杀了大家可能沟通认识的机会。＊＊

“Thank you” 说完了以后，我发现全部的洗衣机都在忙着。。。我就跟那男孩子开玩笑说，“先帮我保护一下洗衣包，我等会儿回来”

当我再次返回洗衣房的时候，我带了明天上Perspectives课要读的天主教圣经（当时我并不知道他也正读着同一本书）。当我坐下的时候，我们就开始了交谈。。。

谁也没想到，
几个小时后，
这位男孩子会 摇 身 一 变，
变成了我一位熟悉的陌生人。

熟悉的陌生人并非指旧情人

而是指一位真真实实的陌生人

从洗衣到干衣短短的时间里，

他，大伟，变成了我一位熟悉的朋友

我们聊了

对信仰的看法，对男孩子长长头发的看法，对如何适应大学生活的看法，对室友的看法，对洗衣服和独立的看法，对过去高中生活的看法，对朋友的看法，对死亡的看法，对聪明与天分的看法，对爱情和分手的看法，对家人的看法，对学校教育的看法，对运动游泳和排球的看法，对Aristotle亚里士多德和哲学的看法，对心理学的看法，对学习态度和方法的看法，对种族的看法，对家庭背景的看法，对社会经济的看法。。。等等

谈话当中有哈哈大笑的，也有默默悲伤的，有对生命感叹的，也有对生命充满希望与动力的时候。渐渐地，不知何时开始，他的肤色消失了。坐在我旁边的不再是一位“常见，但不曾打招呼，也脑子里一点印象都没有的男邻居”，而是一位真真实实的朋友，一位说话诚恳，善于表达自己，很有主见，而且聪明有趣的朋友。

为什么我特别欣赏这位认识不到一天的朋友呢？并不是因为我们之间擦出了任何火花 ＝，＝

而是昨天的交谈增长了我的大学经历，让我见证了持有“Come out of your comfort zone. Take risk, let yourself be vulnerable by sharing your experiences”这种态度所产生奇妙的效果。大伟让我再次近距离（交心）地体会到虽然两个人来自不同的文化背景，不同的种族，在不同的环境里长大，但在交谈里没有时间也没有空间的限制。只要打开心，就能得到一次很有质量的真心谈话。

从前提到diversity，我比较喜欢与黑人交朋友。或许是因为我高中的时候黑人比白人多。而我所认识的好朋友们都并非一般的黑人，他们都是三百多人的班里最聪明，最勤力，最搞笑的学生。我那届的前四名都是黑人，而且被录取到世界顶尖学校的也是他们。高中时那群白人只留给我这样的一个印象：自以为是，懒散，生活毫无方向，整天只顾着外在的东西，其实大部分都是空心菜，而且是没放腐鱼的空心菜。当然，这些描述也可以应用在任何一种肤色人的身上，懒人不分肤色嘛！以前我误以为自己偏向一个种族。但我现在开始发觉，我偏向的是一种态度，一种愿意分享生命及热爱生命的人。＊＊＊

Anyway，跟大伟的交谈让我接触到不一样的白人，也让我再次见证了其实大家都是人（真的，大家都是人嘛！！！）。说到底，所有人都是 神按着自己形象所创造的。我们应该大胆一点，去认识和关怀身边的所有人，而不止是某个群体或种族。神的爱是完全的，让我们学习神的爱的时候不要有漏洞。 很多时候这样简单的道理我们都忘了。繁忙的生活让我们不得不按部就班，常常忙于和专注于一些只对自己有利或对未来有帮助的事情，使我们不太愿意摆上时间去思想一些敏感的话题，或探讨一些未知的领域。

交朋友最重要的是交心，而不是在于一些表面的东西。（Aristotle’s friends of utility and pleasure do not last long，only friends for goodness does！）活学活用，其实BC的课程真的很赞。虽然它就是没有像BU那么diverse，但是其它方面都是很不错的。。。我个人觉得嘛，作为全球少于1％大学生的我们，无论到哪个大学，我们都比那些没有机会上大学的人幸运。所以要好好学习，将来用所学的贡献回社会就好了。

＊＊＊＊＊＊

很多画面在脑子里超速地转动

大部分都是因为今天所发生的事情

（一些不太愉快的经历）

刚刚开始想要写的这段经历，竟然没有时间写了。要睡觉了。。。

但是。。。我恳求天父原谅我暗地里向室友发怒。虽然她有她做不好的地方，但我觉得我不应该以自己的尺寸来衡量她。要学会包容，大大的包容，像主耶稣包容我一样！！！

＊＊＊＊＊＊

‎2011-10-30 Everything happened for a reason. :) I can not decide on the pattern and colors of the night sky, but I have the freedom to choose an attitude, such as appreciation and admiration. Tonight is the night of looking far far ahead, seeing way beyond my naked eyes are capable, and appreciating the beauty intended by the Original Creator.

"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that IT WAS GOOD: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night."- Genesis 1:3-5

今天圣灵责备完我发怒以后，我学会了当一个人做错的时候，不要针对他们的过犯，而要为他们的罪献上祷告。因为每个人都有做错的时候，不要因为少少过犯就要惩罚他们。我人生的使命，就是要学会以基督的爱去爱身边每一个人，以生命影响生命。

for You

Thank God, I got a weekly prayer buddy now :)
I met Jemima from Child Growth and Development class. We shared similar Christian value and we are both passionate about being the light and salt for others! From the first day we met, I knew God planned it for a reason. I pray to God that our friendship can bloom over the next four years of college as well as in life. Thank God for this beautiful sister!!!

Still growing strong!
Heavenly Father,
I may be weak and fall into temptations often,
but please continue to remind me the beauty of Your love!
I need You in my life!!!

Moments worth living, days worth counting...

My mind had been traveling around for a while... if I don't take a moment to reflect and organize what I had been through, I will slowly and surely lose pieces of me that would make a better future me. I would certainly regret that. So LAZINESS NO MORE!

One remarkable moment from today's Interfaith Dialogue:
While serving for the homeless today, I met a young man in his late twenties. Ray was his name. He stood out from others because he was one of the two younger ones and he dressed just like us college students. He was from Texas, a energetic thinker and free-style artist. Before I even realized it, we were having profound conversation that I very often enjoyed with others who truly and sincerely seek for the truth. 


We talked about religions, God, suffering, justice, epiphanies and our experiences in terms of seeking God. The mutual respect and understanding that we had for each other really encouraged our conversation to continue. I could tell from some of his verbal and body languages that he was confident in what he believed in (which was himself and the goodness in others) One thing that shocked me a lot was when he mentioned that he did not have the faith to believe in God's existence, and that everything came from a person's mind. He had an accident where he forgot all of his feelings for his friends and others around him. I thought of myself being in his shoes and that gave me goosebumps. I really could not imagine myself waking up one day and couldn't even recognized my friends or family members. 


There was not one moment in our dialogue that we were silent. I truly believed that it was God's blessing for us to have this experience. Ray may claimed that our encounter was random and completely out of God's plan, if there is even a God. But I truly believed that every little things happened in our lives for a reason. We must be courageous enough to lift up our faith and just believe. 


Later on he told me that he was a free-style artist. He loved to put together random things he saw on the street. He showed me a photo of a tape that he decorated and it said "Love". He also enjoy drawing photos of sunflowers (one was a joyful sunflower with a big smile). Speechlessly excited, I shared with him about my affinity for love shape items, free-style art, and sunflowers! At that moment, I saw why we were able to have deep conversations. Regardless of our backgrounds, our races, our surroundings, we had a similar mindset. We believe that there are beauties in people, and that by doing little things in life, we may somehow bring happiness for others. That was what it counts in our lives. 


...we were similar, yet very different: I believed there is an even more creative Artist behind this beauty project.
                                                * * *


At the end of our intense dialogue, he tapped my shoulder before his departure: good luck! Before I could turned around and say "thank you", he was already half way out the door, continuing his life journey... I yelled across the room with a genuine and encouraging smile"Keep seeking!"

A Day Worthy of Noting... :)

I am mad.......................... tired!

but ended the night with a fulfilling dinner at China Pearl. 

YUP YUP!

Introducing to you Chinese Historical Society of New England
/Waterman-Waring-Langone Scholarship New Recipients

Yanyi Weng 

(the photo on the right is her, to be exact...)

I am really grateful for all the people 

that believe in me

invest in me

support me

encourage me

and give me the chance to chase after my dreams!

For everybody that I chatted

and shared smile with today,

 I want to give a LOUD shout outs for them!

Joseph, Ms. Tong, 

Daniel, Jonathan, Helen, Nicole, Adam, Carmen, 

Prof.Shirley, Prof.Peter, Chu, 

that old couple, who loved my smile, Kenneth, who offered me compliment,

and everyone else who were on the stage sharing their inspirational stories!

As my relationship with my community grew more tightly every year,

I felt a stronger calling for me to stay and simple serve my community.

I believe that everyone has a calling in their lives,

as for me, 

I am hearing louder and louder voice in serving in the Asian Community.

If this is the path that You are leading me Lord, 

let me be an obedient daughter and gratefully receive the blessings that You have stored for me!

You're my Love!

The more I seek, the more I realize how much I am loved by You Lord.


In a gloomy day like today, You put sister in Christ Beryl near me, and allow her to ask me if I wanted to pray at the moment when I needed it the most. As we joined together to share our experiences and our walk with you, my heart just can not stop from praising Your name!!! You are so worthy of our praises!!! As we prayed together, I could feel the burden drops from my shoulder and I felt so refreshed! I am simply satisfied with what had happened today :) Regardless of the morning, tonight's Talent Show was wonderful- performed with best roommie Rosemary *sang, played guitar, and acted (a little =P), Sushi buffet with Alpha, Evy& Steve at Yamato, late night walking in the rain back BC... As Evy described, the rain felt 'rebirthing'. I nodded my head, indeed. 


I have not walk in the rain for so long. I remember how much I used to love rain and the feeling of walking in rain. As I get a little older, I begin to dislike the wetness, and I care a little bit more about my clothes and my hair. Time to get back to these old carefree days and just be natural. Embrace nature. Yanyi Weng, don't forget your screen name is: art_of_nature!!!


<3
THANK YOU GOD!
SIX FLAG TMR.
Be Back Later.
<3

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH~

I am not rich,
but take my heart,
it's priceless.

:)

Boston Local Mission
Aug. 15- Aug. 21.
Form submitted @ 8:54pm.

Let go, Let God!
can't wait!!!

Powerful One

It only took a thought to begin the process of WWI or WWII,
It only took a click to destroy more than seven digits of Japanese citizens...

our human minds are so powerful that sometimes it yields dangerous,
if we misplaced our mind toward the wrong area.
That is why we have God.
While God grant us the freedom to choose how we live,
He also provided us a suggestive guideline to live by-
a guideline that is pleasing to Him.
Anything that is pleasing to Him = a good life.

Compared to the reunion two years ago,
today's Reunion was more God-orientation.
While we had more food-sushi-two years ago,
we only had fruits from PD.
But spiritually-wise, I was more full today.
I really enjoy the process of trusting in God,
and seeing his work be done in reality.

To be honest, I did have my doubts from time to time.
As Tommy Fly pointed out, he was even worried about how tonight would turned out since I send out the invitation so late.
But God is faithful.
Whenever I was in doubt, I was reminded to turn my eyes back to Him.
Whenever I did that, I found peace in heart.

Let Go, and Let God.
That's faith.

Sometimes one has to take risk and dream big in order to accomplish certain things.
It was the same thing as the Father's day event last year.
It was the same thing today.
Like Fly said, Planning is not a deal after-all if God is in control.
In here, I must praise God for His never ending supports, and His willingness to reach out to me so I can get to know Him more.
Similar to what Heidi said, living a Christian life is not a linear equation, in fact, it is a logarithm function. It has its own ups and down. The important take away is: God is always in control. Even in infinity, God is there!!! (oh man all these calculus class and math jokes get me into a nerdy math geek mode =P).

Dear Heavenly Father,
I gave thanks for today. I gave thanks for everyone that You have invited today: King, Mandy, Danny, Bing, Heidi, YueYun, Lydia, Joe and Jodi. May today's experience be marked in their heart and help them survive hardship in the future. Lord, You are so real and You always work beyond my imagination. I praise You creativity and Your time management skills!!! :) I pray that even after this Reunion, we will continue to reunite with You in our daily life through prayers, fellowship, reading the bible, as well as sharing with others about Your goodness. For You alone deserved so so so much more!!! I lift my heart and soul to You as I can feel myself running back to You and embrace You just as before. Father, take me and guide me to live a life that is pleasing to You!
I pray all in the name of Your beloved Son Jesus,
for I am not worthy of Your love,
Amen.

Quick note。。。

So last Sunday Service God encouraged me to create a reunion for others to come and just worship Him on this coming Sat. With the short amount of time left, I am reminded to be faithful in God and trust that His plan never fails.

Indeed, I am now lifting my hands up to You and pray that You will guide me, as well as guiding others, to rediscover the passion for You Lord. For You alone deserves the best of the best, for You alone no one can replace, for You alone deserves our everything. I pray that whoever receives the calling to come this Sat will not turn it down. I also pray that even if no one comes, I will continue the reunion because it is not the number of people that counts, it is the heart and passion for You that counts. Sat 5:30pm to 8:30pm is absolutely reserved for You my Lord.

I am so looking forward for this reunion to turn into a revival in You Lord. 

You deserve so so SO much more!!!

<3

信是未曾看见 依然仰望十架 
信是完全交托 深知主已掌权 
我靠着那加给我力量的 凡事都能做 
或风浪或低谷 主平安在我心 
我靠着那加给我力量的 凡事都能做 
行在主的旨意 我凡事都能做 

So comforting to know that You are my Creator，my God，my Heavenly Father！！

候鳥與心跳

作曲：羅天緯
填詞：甄燕鳴
主唱：謝文雅

聽鳥聲多清脆層次有分類
雁去燕歸每年程序伴四季興衰
看幼鷹眼光尖銳翔翱未會累
大自然滿生趣
完美精深設計是誰

＃雀鳥不耕不收誰看顧保佑
俗世妄想渴求送走愉快也自由
過往多壓迫感受全部掉腦後
不需計較追究
神賜深恩 天天足夠

＊創始終萬世君 袮腳下我太渺少
面對宇宙再比照人一世暫如十秒
要把握上帝恩無窮盡 確實奇妙
袮從來待我像至寶般重要
甚至點算我的心跳
Repeat ＃＊

讚嘆一花一草 高低闊窄合度
每秒鐘心跳有定數
Repeat ＊

Joshua Youth Fellowship Camping 2011

I did not realized that this was my last official JYF camping until...  the second day I was at camp!

Aiya, time is not waiting la... its time to say byebye again!

But with God, I am sure my future is full of blessings! 

So once again, my heart is filled with hope!

Going to write more soon!

^___^

Giving myself sometime to digest the camp experience!

No lie, after a few days of contemplation about Spring Camp 2011. 

It is time to write some reflection!

This year: 

Day 1- 

Jesus Loves You!!!

Day 2:

阳光明媚！

新团友！！！

有一个热爱认识主的心，我要学习！！！

Thumb Ｕp for me！

笑到我抽筋了！！！

这小妹，比我还高呢！

可爱！

她们姐妹俩。。。〈3

好大的心哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦

辛苦了，导师们！！！

Sunday Night Life！

功夫都出来了！！！

虫儿滑呀滑！

滑到最后变成龙！！！

大家最爱“朝头组”

YAY！朝头组的女子组！

原料！

努力中。。。

创意“蕉”糕！！！

先尝尝，没事！

吃吃像什么？ “鳗鱼”

King 的生辰！！！ 好开心的一个晚上。。。

后来才知道那天你公公去世了。

时间不留人，但愿我们珍惜与大家在一起的一分一秒！！！

呵呵 可爱的很！

好多爱的信封。。。

经过我半夜不眠加上空余时间的努力，

终于给40多位团友都写了一封爱心信！

主不停地提醒燕仪就算没时间写给那些已经相识的人，

也要写给那些刚刚认识或不曾认识的人，

主的爱，就是如此包容，如此长宽高深！

“朝头组” － 牧师教的口号

“朝早，朝早，精神好”

“大家最爱朝头组”

我们团友加了

“牧师型过吴彦祖！”

牧师摇摇头说：吾好吾好！

Incomplete Senior Photos： missing Sarah 山 and Jess

Music Team YEAH

My Salon！哈哈

《3

快乐的时光过得很快。。。

但感谢笑声，感谢相片，感谢回忆，

时间没有停留，

但美好的时刻永远留在心中！

camping 中录了一个对“未来自己”的对话

谢谢太阳花，谢谢 神的感动，你的真实，

我们的童真，无忧无虑地被爱护着。

那感觉很舒服，

就那样，

坐在湖边，望着蓝天，吹吹迎面而来的微风，

就这样，

足够了。

论爱，

一辈子也学不完，

也不应该学完，

因为爱的真蹄是上帝。

上帝是爱。

他有无穷无尽的爱，

每天不停的更新，

不挺的供应，

让健忘的我们随时能够得到他爱的力量，

然后我们充满爱，

再去爱别人：可爱和不可爱的人。

爱其实真的很简单，

只是我们把他想复杂了。

想爱，就爱。

将自己摆上，给于对方比自己的还好。

看别人比自己强，

先包容，

然后再爱。

先检讨自己，

再帮助别人寻找爱。

我们爱，因上帝先爱我们。

（然后我们才有力量爱别人）

圣经的话语从来都是那么实在。

我立志要成为爱的使者，传扬 神的爱。

Whenever in your life you feel as if you've seen a glimpse of heaven,

that is God. 

We can not see God directly,

for He is too Holy.

Just as if we were to look at the sun directly with a telescope,

we would blind ourselves.

But even without looking directly at the sun,

we know it's presence. 

Everything become about because of it.

Isn't God just like the sun that He created?

Do we really need to see God's physical form in order to prove His presence?

all we need is God's love, 

which is within those who love God, 

and within God's beloved ones.

Hallelujah! Everything is for Your glory, my Lord!!!

A beautiful mistake!

So so so ...
more than 2 people had mentioned to me that I got my Wheaton college wrong.
Wheaton in Chicago is a Christian college; Wheaton in Ma is a liberal arts college!
Hahaha, indeed I made a major mistake. But a beautiful one. :)

I believe it is not an accident that I got it wrong though!
It was after that post I decided to lift up everything, particular my college decision, to God. At that moment, I really felt peace in heart. I told God in my prayer that no matter where He wants me to go, I will go. regardless.

Literally less than a day later, I received my super surprised acceptance letter from BC. You won't believe how excited I was when I got the mail!!! I just went from the abyss of the ocean valley to the apex of the universe! If my ceiling didn't have a limit, I would jump so high that I could dance on the cloud, sing with the birds, and shine the world with the sun through my cheezy smile. LOL!

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 


this is my quote of the year! no joke!!! This quote provided me shelter and security when nothing else on earth could cheer me up. Only God's word did. A hope and a future, when we believes, everything will turn out to be alright. This is God's promise and He never ever ever ever fails me!


My spiritual life once again revived. 
For the whole college process, I used to tell the old seniors not to worry, just lift it to God. But when it comes to myself, I felt so tired to pray or to even ask God for His advise. I thought everything would just be okay, no need to pray specially for college. Boy, I was so wrong!!! God wants me to participate in His work, He wants me to experience His presence and His perfect timing! Like Maxine and Jamie said, "timing is everything"! I do not think anybody would deny such a perfect moment of timing to be just an accident! Hallelujah, thank God for Your timing and Love my Lord!!!


BC envelope was not just a regular acceptance letter. It is a special program where BC offers me a transitional summer program to strengthen my academics, enhance diversity, and an opportunity to enrich my social life at campus! The moment I received the envelope, I knew this is the direction that God wants me to go. He has prepared this for me allllll along! Everything needed is just me to obey Him and to seek His will. Silly me, I was so doubtful on that Friday when Wellesley and Smith did not take me. I was so down because I was trying to hold on to my own desire so much. God is teaching me an important lesson here: not to focus on the world, need not to meet their expectation. Focus on God instead, be willing to meet His expectation (though I will never be able to live up to his standard), God will give me the strength to get through all obstacles! 


If I could relive my life for the past two weeks, I would choose the same thing. I would rather experience God and follow the path that He has prepared for me than to choose my own path which involves negative feelings over certain expectations. 


Life is good, truly, when one accepts God into his/her life. Not because we will no longer experience disappointment, pain, and sorrow, but because we know that there is always someone more important than anything we have in this life- that is God/Jesus Christ/ Holy Spirit Himself. I will always have joy in my heart, through good times and bad times, because God is constantly teaching me a lesson to learn. He is preparing my faith to enter eternity.  
" Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


Being joyful is heavenly peace, not just happiness. Happiness depends on people, materials and circumstances; being joyful is free from all of these. For joy comes from God alone, it is long lasting and forever sweet. It is just that sometimes we chose not to be joyful; we refused to accept God's present of joy. 


I recently realized that being joyful is not just a choice or plainly a state of feeling, it is a command from God. It involves obedience (obey God by doing what is His willing) and it involves love (love for God, therefore to please Him). 

Let me clear all my senses on this world and focus on my God alone! His plan is way better than my plan. and His will is way better than my will. So why choose the latter?

What a lesson!

Kidsworship today talked about how God will make a way for the obedience ones.

So helpful!

Focus...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

dot by dot, 

step by step,

when I get to the end of high school graduation,

I want to be proud of myself

for not wasting the last moments of my high school life.

+ oil Yanyi! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

OH MY GOODNESS?! ... Thank God!

Friday, I opened the mail box checking out for my lost BC mail.

No BC mail.

A Wellesley mail. 

My dream college since 9th grade.

It was a small envelope.

I hesitated, knowing it was a rejection letter.

:(

I came home. Sat down on my bed.

Forgot what I was thinking.

I went to Gmail.

Emily Wu (a Wellesley alumni) emailed me about Project Destiny 

exactly 1 min. ago. 

Clicked.

She was scheduling a PD interview with me.

Instead of answering to her request,

I told her about my Wellesley news.

She offered me the usual "I am sorry to hear that" and offered me prayer.

Gratefully accepted, I turned to my next college result.

6pm,

After refreshing myself,

I, once again, opened my laptop, 

signed online to Smith page.

Did not know exactly where to click,

I came across a letter saying: ... wait list... 

caught in shock, 

I could not believe my eyes.

7pm, I attempted to check Wheaton.

Link did not work.

So I waited.

These two girls colleges definitely discouraged me 

from getting accept to future college that I would like.

For a long moment, I was doubting myself.

"Maybe you are not meant for all girls college" Fighta comforted me

Normally I do not believe the immediate effect of comforting.

But it worked.

Wheaton online link still did not work.

I prayed to God to let go of my preference 

and let His plan take over.

then

I went out to meet with my two girl friends.

Close to 8pm,

Met up with Kiddold and had dinner together.

Unforgettable, encouraging, inspirational conversation.

Mark it in my mind: 3/25/2011. 

Thank you very much.

fast forward to night time.

I checked Wheaton. 

"Congratulation!"

Oh, I was like, okay. 

Wheaton was my safety. 

In my mind, I did not have special feelings though (YET).

Middlebury came out at 8am this morning.

Kiddold woke me up,

more eager to see it than I was.

Prayed in my heart, I asked God to let His plan take over.

"Thank you..."

Okay. 

The news did not strike me as hard as Wellesley 

because I was still half asleep.

Signed into facebook,

a dear friend of mine told me about his rejection from Middlebury and Bu.

What is up with these colleges? 

I decided to search for "Is top liberal arts college harder to get in than Ivies?"

The result definitely shocked me 

as I was reminded liberal arts college have much smaller class size,

so they preferred to pick students with strength to make the strongest class.

I am actually okay with today's result.

Kiddold comforted me not to let the news ruined my day.

promised.

I will keep my hope up.

Since I was up early,

I decided to do more research on Wheaton.

First thing popped up in google: 

"Wheaton College is a top-ranked, academically rigorous Christian liberal arts college located west of Chicago in Wheaton, Illinois" (side note: I applied to the MA campus. lol, not Chicago...)

Christian liberal arts college, 

these four words somehow highlighted like lightbulbs in my mind.

I became to love this college more. 

Continuing my research,

I came across these info.

"Established in 1860 as a co-ed institution, Wheaton College is a private, residential and interdenominational Christian liberal arts college, where the pursuit of faith and learning is taken seriously. Wheaton is committed to being a community that fearlessly pursues God's Truth, invests in developing well-rounded students, and prepares graduates to make a difference in the world. These principles have made learning and living at Wheaton extraordinary for 150 years."

OH YEAH! 

I was reminded that when I decided to apply to Wheaton, it was for these reasons!

How forgetful I am!

I was too focusing on my own desire to chase after my own preference

that I did not leave God any room to make plan in my life.

"

A beloved campus landmark, the statue of Hebe, the "cupbearer to the gods" stands for the spirit of Wheaton: to be of service."- Wheaton official college website

• Adventure Leadership Ministry
• Christian Spirituality
• Early Christian Studies
• Gender Studies
• HNGR - Human Needs and Global Resources (Development Studies)
• Military Science
• Pre-Law
• Urban Studies
• Youth Ministry

• Biblical Archaeology
• Clinical Psychology
• Counseling Ministries
• Evangelism and Leadership
• Theology
• History of Christianity
• Intercultural Studies
• Intercultural Studies-Gradlink
• • Wheaton in Argentina
  • Wheaton in Chicago
  • Wheaton in East Africa
  • Wheaton in England
  • Wheaton in France
  • Wheaton in Germany
  • Wheaton in the Holy Lands
  • Wheaton in Washington, D.C.
  
  
  

  Ministry/Service Opportunities

  Breakaway Ministries Christian Service Council (22 local ministries) Global Urban Perspectives Missions in Focus Student Ministry Partners World Christian Fellowship Youth Hostel Ministry

All these data fascinated my eyes.

I felt peace in heart as I was reminded of God's know-it-all character.

Forget about the ranking, forget about the popularity,

Forget about others opinion regarding to Christian studies,

I felt so strongly that this IS the college for me!
If this is in Your will, Lord, let Your will be done.

Out of all the colleges that I did research on,

this is THE only college that focuses so much on Christianity 

that it equalizes my sudden desire to apply for "Gordon College"

I did not apply to Gordon College as my three other classmates did

because my mother would think that I am insane to apply for a Christian college.

but as a liberal arts college,
I can tell mother that Wheaton is well-fit for me, more in terms of edu.

wow.

I love how everything just seemed to work out from here.

I felt a burden is lifted from me,

and I am free from worries.

My only prayer request as for now is financial aid.

But I am faithful that if Wheaton is meant for me,

I will be fine. 

A kindly reminder for myself and for those still waiting for college results:

college is really a place where we explore our own interest, learn about ourselves, and become who we are meant to be. When we obtain an attitude of passionate learners and humbly allow our lives to become inspirations for others, regardless of where we end up, we will become wonderful young men and women who bring changes to others lives. After all, college is only 4 years. We have a life time to develop our characters. Allow yourself to have a good start, let it not filled with stress and pressure, but let college experience be a life changing stage for us to learn to live not only for ourselves, but to serve the world that we live in.

Let yourself be the person that brings light to your college, instead of the established title of college that is often mistaken to generally define an unique individual like you! :) 

+ oil, Yanyi! stay positive. Life is always full of excitement!

HALLELUJAH! 

Let Your will be my Will, dear Heavenly Father.

Rejoice, rejoice, this song just appeared in my mind right now.

Gotta share:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11