Pray, because I'm weak...

I wanted to sleep until the morning so badly. I miss those days where I can just sleep whenever and wherever. For the past week I've been sleeping at 6 or 7 am for no reason. Maybe cos the week before that I formed a really bad sleeping schedule. tonight once again I woke up at 3 am after trying to sleep until 8 am. Something was bothering me so I played about it. Then I realized that its already christmas eve. a song that I sang on the street with j2 was peaceful night. I was praying about that too. sometimes I get too ahead of myself and forget where I am... I pray that this christmas God will change my certain attitudes and transform me into a more Jesus-like person... Amen


5:20am 終於放棄了嘗試睡覺的念頭。。。跟自己說，就當是早起吧。 來到廚房，打開盧頭，我要喝媽媽特製的花生豬骨木瓜湯！！！ 回來了兩天，竟然發現自己好像不太習慣在家裡睡，老是失眠。。。青春荳荳也出了兩粒。

喝完湯，我要讀書！！！我要禱告！我要讀唐牧師的講道！！！
今天有人很興奮地跟我分享讀書的快樂。
因為將會學自己喜歡的東西，所以極其興奮。
那我自己呢？好學之心到哪裡去了？慚愧！有待改進。。。加油！

6：50am
兩碗湯一碗飯，吃飽之後可以做自己喜歡做的事情了。

Moments worth living, days worth counting...

My mind had been traveling around for a while... if I don't take a moment to reflect and organize what I had been through, I will slowly and surely lose pieces of me that would make a better future me. I would certainly regret that. So LAZINESS NO MORE!

One remarkable moment from today's Interfaith Dialogue:
While serving for the homeless today, I met a young man in his late twenties. Ray was his name. He stood out from others because he was one of the two younger ones and he dressed just like us college students. He was from Texas, a energetic thinker and free-style artist. Before I even realized it, we were having profound conversation that I very often enjoyed with others who truly and sincerely seek for the truth. 


We talked about religions, God, suffering, justice, epiphanies and our experiences in terms of seeking God. The mutual respect and understanding that we had for each other really encouraged our conversation to continue. I could tell from some of his verbal and body languages that he was confident in what he believed in (which was himself and the goodness in others) One thing that shocked me a lot was when he mentioned that he did not have the faith to believe in God's existence, and that everything came from a person's mind. He had an accident where he forgot all of his feelings for his friends and others around him. I thought of myself being in his shoes and that gave me goosebumps. I really could not imagine myself waking up one day and couldn't even recognized my friends or family members. 


There was not one moment in our dialogue that we were silent. I truly believed that it was God's blessing for us to have this experience. Ray may claimed that our encounter was random and completely out of God's plan, if there is even a God. But I truly believed that every little things happened in our lives for a reason. We must be courageous enough to lift up our faith and just believe. 


Later on he told me that he was a free-style artist. He loved to put together random things he saw on the street. He showed me a photo of a tape that he decorated and it said "Love". He also enjoy drawing photos of sunflowers (one was a joyful sunflower with a big smile). Speechlessly excited, I shared with him about my affinity for love shape items, free-style art, and sunflowers! At that moment, I saw why we were able to have deep conversations. Regardless of our backgrounds, our races, our surroundings, we had a similar mindset. We believe that there are beauties in people, and that by doing little things in life, we may somehow bring happiness for others. That was what it counts in our lives. 


...we were similar, yet very different: I believed there is an even more creative Artist behind this beauty project.
                                                * * *


At the end of our intense dialogue, he tapped my shoulder before his departure: good luck! Before I could turned around and say "thank you", he was already half way out the door, continuing his life journey... I yelled across the room with a genuine and encouraging smile"Keep seeking!"

給最親愛的。。。

久違的你

再次接觸

熟悉依然

期待已久

終於如願

最愛的你

永遠最好

再次接觸

回憶過往

排球場上

熱汗熱淚

心跳加速

喊著叫著

疲累倒地

享受依然

最愛排球

趁著年輕

堅持到底

好好珍惜

A Day Worthy of Noting... :)

I am mad.......................... tired!

but ended the night with a fulfilling dinner at China Pearl. 

YUP YUP!

Introducing to you Chinese Historical Society of New England
/Waterman-Waring-Langone Scholarship New Recipients

Yanyi Weng 

(the photo on the right is her, to be exact...)

I am really grateful for all the people 

that believe in me

invest in me

support me

encourage me

and give me the chance to chase after my dreams!

For everybody that I chatted

and shared smile with today,

 I want to give a LOUD shout outs for them!

Joseph, Ms. Tong, 

Daniel, Jonathan, Helen, Nicole, Adam, Carmen, 

Prof.Shirley, Prof.Peter, Chu, 

that old couple, who loved my smile, Kenneth, who offered me compliment,

and everyone else who were on the stage sharing their inspirational stories!

As my relationship with my community grew more tightly every year,

I felt a stronger calling for me to stay and simple serve my community.

I believe that everyone has a calling in their lives,

as for me, 

I am hearing louder and louder voice in serving in the Asian Community.

If this is the path that You are leading me Lord, 

let me be an obedient daughter and gratefully receive the blessings that You have stored for me!

MORNING MORNING!!!

Dear Yanyi Weng,
just wanted to say ADD OIL!
I have three minutes to spare before I need to start editing my essay.
One more week I will be out of here :)
finish strong, make me proud!!!

Despite the absence of Grandpa Sun, let me make every day bright by living every moment of it. Be the sunshine for others... ADD OIL!!!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I am missing something... please open my eyes of my heart and let me see it.

In Your beloved Son's name,
Amen.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH~

I am not rich,
but take my heart,
it's priceless.

:)

Boston Local Mission
Aug. 15- Aug. 21.
Form submitted @ 8:54pm.

Let go, Let God!
can't wait!!!

Powerful One

It only took a thought to begin the process of WWI or WWII,
It only took a click to destroy more than seven digits of Japanese citizens...

our human minds are so powerful that sometimes it yields dangerous,
if we misplaced our mind toward the wrong area.
That is why we have God.
While God grant us the freedom to choose how we live,
He also provided us a suggestive guideline to live by-
a guideline that is pleasing to Him.
Anything that is pleasing to Him = a good life.

Compared to the reunion two years ago,
today's Reunion was more God-orientation.
While we had more food-sushi-two years ago,
we only had fruits from PD.
But spiritually-wise, I was more full today.
I really enjoy the process of trusting in God,
and seeing his work be done in reality.

To be honest, I did have my doubts from time to time.
As Tommy Fly pointed out, he was even worried about how tonight would turned out since I send out the invitation so late.
But God is faithful.
Whenever I was in doubt, I was reminded to turn my eyes back to Him.
Whenever I did that, I found peace in heart.

Let Go, and Let God.
That's faith.

Sometimes one has to take risk and dream big in order to accomplish certain things.
It was the same thing as the Father's day event last year.
It was the same thing today.
Like Fly said, Planning is not a deal after-all if God is in control.
In here, I must praise God for His never ending supports, and His willingness to reach out to me so I can get to know Him more.
Similar to what Heidi said, living a Christian life is not a linear equation, in fact, it is a logarithm function. It has its own ups and down. The important take away is: God is always in control. Even in infinity, God is there!!! (oh man all these calculus class and math jokes get me into a nerdy math geek mode =P).

Dear Heavenly Father,
I gave thanks for today. I gave thanks for everyone that You have invited today: King, Mandy, Danny, Bing, Heidi, YueYun, Lydia, Joe and Jodi. May today's experience be marked in their heart and help them survive hardship in the future. Lord, You are so real and You always work beyond my imagination. I praise You creativity and Your time management skills!!! :) I pray that even after this Reunion, we will continue to reunite with You in our daily life through prayers, fellowship, reading the bible, as well as sharing with others about Your goodness. For You alone deserved so so so much more!!! I lift my heart and soul to You as I can feel myself running back to You and embrace You just as before. Father, take me and guide me to live a life that is pleasing to You!
I pray all in the name of Your beloved Son Jesus,
for I am not worthy of Your love,
Amen.

Just do what you gotta do...

Aiya~ it is so hard for me to admit my wrongdoings...
it's worst
when i am not willing to open my mouth
and admit them right away!

as time pass, the demonic me pops up in my left shoulder
and tell me to forget about it,

but then the angelic me wants me to admit my wrongdoings
and get rid of the hard feelings...

so what do i do?

: ) 

break apart my old stubborn self, 

do what I gotta do.

break my pride,

let me be a lovable person, once again! 

thank YOU for your forgiveness in advance, 

and your acceptance ^_________^ 

mango drink, on me. <3

感恩的一天

就这样，星期六兴奋而快速的节奏就随着无忧无虑的Boston Common轻松散步慢了下来。。。 独个儿带着微笑步行回家。

跟King和Jen帶領JYF一起唱歌敬拜 神是無比歡樂；

欢送Shirley導師之Doreamon 顛倒Farewell Party也很順利進行了

Steph和Jie的禱告，

King，Helen和Grace的歌聲，

Joanna和Jennefafa的遊戲，

Yoyo的圖畫，

還有Emily的影片 （嘻嘻）

大家都配合得很好很好

我們這些JYFer之間的默契，

今天我體驗到進步了很多。

縱然沒有彩排，

我們依然能把各自負責的項目順利完成！

跟Shirley Happy完之後，

到Wing和Jie！

我們music team的成員為了感謝他們兩位對music team的付出，

特地chip in錢定了兩個杯子

杯子上還印著我們的music team的相片！

驚喜！

愛與被愛

兩者都是幸福的選擇！

Fight on...

Wednesday, half way through the week!

Most useful tips of the week:

Eat well, sleep well, and then study.

-Mr. Huie

I've been struggling with this issue since the day I met Procrastination. Our relationship is surprisingly close over the last few years, regardless of my constant effort to be apart. Hopefully I can handle this relationship with clever skills so it won't affect my life!

Being a people's person, I always find myself placing "people" before "things" in my priority list. But when it comes to exams, I need to respect my time to prepare for exams! From now on, may my pessimistic attitude (mix with laziness) be changed and be renewed! I want to be motivated and have the right attitude towards school, friends and life!!!

Let's add oil together!

^_____________^

Happy Easter!!!

Renewed.
:)

Kids Worship sermon, learned so much.
Exhausted body, but my spirit is so high!
All the strength came from God,
my soul cried out with joy!
Hallelujah Lord.
Thank You for Your cross.
Thank You for Your resurrection that brings us forever hope.
<3

夜间之胡言乱语！

個人空間變得很小。。。
為甚麼呢。。。
我也想知道。。。
就是不能安靜下來。。。

總是在想事情。。。
或許，我一直以來都是這樣的！

哎呀，矛盾的人哪。
想東西的時候就覺得有點煩，
不想東西的時候就覺得有點浪費時間。。。
怎麼了我？

大概是倦了，
但是又顽固不想睡。
又矛盾了。
刚刚弄完Grace洗礼的礼物。
搞了一大圈才发现自己不喜欢用毛笔，
差不多完成才发觉不是自己想要的感觉。
好，那我从头再来。。。
艺术就是这样的东东，搞来搞去，要不断的尝试，才能达到自己满意的。
不过最后的成品我还是挺满意的，不错不错 呵呵！

趁着还不想睡，
就写写最近吧。
免得将来看看日记，
哎，怎么四月份少了这么多回忆呢？

家：还不错。平平凡凡。没什么大事情发生。
小弟终于剪短了一点点头发。那是可喜的！
不过他的蘑菇头我还是。。。有点。。。不是很满意。
记得上次梦见他剪了个超短的发型，超帅的！！！
不知道何时才能等到那天呢。。。

友：也还是不错。只是有时侯需要更多的爱心去爱一些不是很可爱的朋友。
爱朋友，
不能盲目的去爱，
不能一视同仁的爱。
因为那样的爱不真实。
但希望我给于朋友的爱是真实的。
或多或少，一定要是真实的爱！

灵命：渴了，饿了！极度需要从拾灵修的习惯！！！

A beautiful mistake!

So so so ...
more than 2 people had mentioned to me that I got my Wheaton college wrong.
Wheaton in Chicago is a Christian college; Wheaton in Ma is a liberal arts college!
Hahaha, indeed I made a major mistake. But a beautiful one. :)

I believe it is not an accident that I got it wrong though!
It was after that post I decided to lift up everything, particular my college decision, to God. At that moment, I really felt peace in heart. I told God in my prayer that no matter where He wants me to go, I will go. regardless.

Literally less than a day later, I received my super surprised acceptance letter from BC. You won't believe how excited I was when I got the mail!!! I just went from the abyss of the ocean valley to the apex of the universe! If my ceiling didn't have a limit, I would jump so high that I could dance on the cloud, sing with the birds, and shine the world with the sun through my cheezy smile. LOL!

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 


this is my quote of the year! no joke!!! This quote provided me shelter and security when nothing else on earth could cheer me up. Only God's word did. A hope and a future, when we believes, everything will turn out to be alright. This is God's promise and He never ever ever ever fails me!


My spiritual life once again revived. 
For the whole college process, I used to tell the old seniors not to worry, just lift it to God. But when it comes to myself, I felt so tired to pray or to even ask God for His advise. I thought everything would just be okay, no need to pray specially for college. Boy, I was so wrong!!! God wants me to participate in His work, He wants me to experience His presence and His perfect timing! Like Maxine and Jamie said, "timing is everything"! I do not think anybody would deny such a perfect moment of timing to be just an accident! Hallelujah, thank God for Your timing and Love my Lord!!!


BC envelope was not just a regular acceptance letter. It is a special program where BC offers me a transitional summer program to strengthen my academics, enhance diversity, and an opportunity to enrich my social life at campus! The moment I received the envelope, I knew this is the direction that God wants me to go. He has prepared this for me allllll along! Everything needed is just me to obey Him and to seek His will. Silly me, I was so doubtful on that Friday when Wellesley and Smith did not take me. I was so down because I was trying to hold on to my own desire so much. God is teaching me an important lesson here: not to focus on the world, need not to meet their expectation. Focus on God instead, be willing to meet His expectation (though I will never be able to live up to his standard), God will give me the strength to get through all obstacles! 


If I could relive my life for the past two weeks, I would choose the same thing. I would rather experience God and follow the path that He has prepared for me than to choose my own path which involves negative feelings over certain expectations. 


Life is good, truly, when one accepts God into his/her life. Not because we will no longer experience disappointment, pain, and sorrow, but because we know that there is always someone more important than anything we have in this life- that is God/Jesus Christ/ Holy Spirit Himself. I will always have joy in my heart, through good times and bad times, because God is constantly teaching me a lesson to learn. He is preparing my faith to enter eternity.  
" Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


Being joyful is heavenly peace, not just happiness. Happiness depends on people, materials and circumstances; being joyful is free from all of these. For joy comes from God alone, it is long lasting and forever sweet. It is just that sometimes we chose not to be joyful; we refused to accept God's present of joy. 


I recently realized that being joyful is not just a choice or plainly a state of feeling, it is a command from God. It involves obedience (obey God by doing what is His willing) and it involves love (love for God, therefore to please Him). 

Let me clear all my senses on this world and focus on my God alone! His plan is way better than my plan. and His will is way better than my will. So why choose the latter?

What a lesson!

Kidsworship today talked about how God will make a way for the obedience ones.

So helpful!

Focus...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

dot by dot, 

step by step,

when I get to the end of high school graduation,

I want to be proud of myself

for not wasting the last moments of my high school life.

+ oil Yanyi! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

顿悟。。。

正在做功课。。。突然想到。。。

今年 神好像特别想让我学习一样东西，
就是学会在一切事情上都要认定祂。
就算一切环境改变，都依然要坚定地信靠。
从前认识 神，相信 神，甚至爱 神，
都来得很自然，像是一位过于被疼爱的小孩。。。
遇到大风浪了，怎样面对呢？

要学习的东西太多，
向学的心太小。
我要先学会以基督的心为心的态度，
谦虚地去过生活。

恩典太多，
有时侯自己反而变得懒惰；
不再勤力读经，祷告，及寻求 神的旨意。

明天将会是新的一天，要有新的态度！
加油！！！

『我是葡萄树、你们是枝子。常在我里面的、我也常在他里面、这人就多结果子。因为离了我、你们就不能作什么。』

                             —约翰福音15：5

OH MY GOODNESS?! ... Thank God!

Friday, I opened the mail box checking out for my lost BC mail.

No BC mail.

A Wellesley mail. 

My dream college since 9th grade.

It was a small envelope.

I hesitated, knowing it was a rejection letter.

:(

I came home. Sat down on my bed.

Forgot what I was thinking.

I went to Gmail.

Emily Wu (a Wellesley alumni) emailed me about Project Destiny 

exactly 1 min. ago. 

Clicked.

She was scheduling a PD interview with me.

Instead of answering to her request,

I told her about my Wellesley news.

She offered me the usual "I am sorry to hear that" and offered me prayer.

Gratefully accepted, I turned to my next college result.

6pm,

After refreshing myself,

I, once again, opened my laptop, 

signed online to Smith page.

Did not know exactly where to click,

I came across a letter saying: ... wait list... 

caught in shock, 

I could not believe my eyes.

7pm, I attempted to check Wheaton.

Link did not work.

So I waited.

These two girls colleges definitely discouraged me 

from getting accept to future college that I would like.

For a long moment, I was doubting myself.

"Maybe you are not meant for all girls college" Fighta comforted me

Normally I do not believe the immediate effect of comforting.

But it worked.

Wheaton online link still did not work.

I prayed to God to let go of my preference 

and let His plan take over.

then

I went out to meet with my two girl friends.

Close to 8pm,

Met up with Kiddold and had dinner together.

Unforgettable, encouraging, inspirational conversation.

Mark it in my mind: 3/25/2011. 

Thank you very much.

fast forward to night time.

I checked Wheaton. 

"Congratulation!"

Oh, I was like, okay. 

Wheaton was my safety. 

In my mind, I did not have special feelings though (YET).

Middlebury came out at 8am this morning.

Kiddold woke me up,

more eager to see it than I was.

Prayed in my heart, I asked God to let His plan take over.

"Thank you..."

Okay. 

The news did not strike me as hard as Wellesley 

because I was still half asleep.

Signed into facebook,

a dear friend of mine told me about his rejection from Middlebury and Bu.

What is up with these colleges? 

I decided to search for "Is top liberal arts college harder to get in than Ivies?"

The result definitely shocked me 

as I was reminded liberal arts college have much smaller class size,

so they preferred to pick students with strength to make the strongest class.

I am actually okay with today's result.

Kiddold comforted me not to let the news ruined my day.

promised.

I will keep my hope up.

Since I was up early,

I decided to do more research on Wheaton.

First thing popped up in google: 

"Wheaton College is a top-ranked, academically rigorous Christian liberal arts college located west of Chicago in Wheaton, Illinois" (side note: I applied to the MA campus. lol, not Chicago...)

Christian liberal arts college, 

these four words somehow highlighted like lightbulbs in my mind.

I became to love this college more. 

Continuing my research,

I came across these info.

"Established in 1860 as a co-ed institution, Wheaton College is a private, residential and interdenominational Christian liberal arts college, where the pursuit of faith and learning is taken seriously. Wheaton is committed to being a community that fearlessly pursues God's Truth, invests in developing well-rounded students, and prepares graduates to make a difference in the world. These principles have made learning and living at Wheaton extraordinary for 150 years."

OH YEAH! 

I was reminded that when I decided to apply to Wheaton, it was for these reasons!

How forgetful I am!

I was too focusing on my own desire to chase after my own preference

that I did not leave God any room to make plan in my life.

"

A beloved campus landmark, the statue of Hebe, the "cupbearer to the gods" stands for the spirit of Wheaton: to be of service."- Wheaton official college website

• Adventure Leadership Ministry
• Christian Spirituality
• Early Christian Studies
• Gender Studies
• HNGR - Human Needs and Global Resources (Development Studies)
• Military Science
• Pre-Law
• Urban Studies
• Youth Ministry

• Biblical Archaeology
• Clinical Psychology
• Counseling Ministries
• Evangelism and Leadership
• Theology
• History of Christianity
• Intercultural Studies
• Intercultural Studies-Gradlink
• • Wheaton in Argentina
  • Wheaton in Chicago
  • Wheaton in East Africa
  • Wheaton in England
  • Wheaton in France
  • Wheaton in Germany
  • Wheaton in the Holy Lands
  • Wheaton in Washington, D.C.
  
  
  

  Ministry/Service Opportunities

  Breakaway Ministries Christian Service Council (22 local ministries) Global Urban Perspectives Missions in Focus Student Ministry Partners World Christian Fellowship Youth Hostel Ministry

All these data fascinated my eyes.

I felt peace in heart as I was reminded of God's know-it-all character.

Forget about the ranking, forget about the popularity,

Forget about others opinion regarding to Christian studies,

I felt so strongly that this IS the college for me!
If this is in Your will, Lord, let Your will be done.

Out of all the colleges that I did research on,

this is THE only college that focuses so much on Christianity 

that it equalizes my sudden desire to apply for "Gordon College"

I did not apply to Gordon College as my three other classmates did

because my mother would think that I am insane to apply for a Christian college.

but as a liberal arts college,
I can tell mother that Wheaton is well-fit for me, more in terms of edu.

wow.

I love how everything just seemed to work out from here.

I felt a burden is lifted from me,

and I am free from worries.

My only prayer request as for now is financial aid.

But I am faithful that if Wheaton is meant for me,

I will be fine. 

A kindly reminder for myself and for those still waiting for college results:

college is really a place where we explore our own interest, learn about ourselves, and become who we are meant to be. When we obtain an attitude of passionate learners and humbly allow our lives to become inspirations for others, regardless of where we end up, we will become wonderful young men and women who bring changes to others lives. After all, college is only 4 years. We have a life time to develop our characters. Allow yourself to have a good start, let it not filled with stress and pressure, but let college experience be a life changing stage for us to learn to live not only for ourselves, but to serve the world that we live in.

Let yourself be the person that brings light to your college, instead of the established title of college that is often mistaken to generally define an unique individual like you! :) 

+ oil, Yanyi! stay positive. Life is always full of excitement!

HALLELUJAH! 

Let Your will be my Will, dear Heavenly Father.

Rejoice, rejoice, this song just appeared in my mind right now.

Gotta share:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

H O P E

Credit: Crosscards.com

MY GOAL！！！

suddenly want to work out like crazy!
time to make a commitment to go to the gym
and exercise for a healthier body!

Been eating too much these days!!!
Starting to dislike the feeling of being full...

healthy eating, 
yanyi weng!
healthy eating!!!
+ OIL X100!