p e a c e at bc

Here I am

sitting under a tree with such well-grown branches 

that it c o m p l e t e l y  s w a l l o w s  me inside its dark shadow

If I were to 

seek out 

for 

the 

bright 

sunlight

I must be aggressive and fight my way through

multiple layers of leaves above me

that 

separates 

me

and 

the sky 

where I believe 

I 

belong

The big Gasson Hall bell

is making noises again

"Ding Ding Ding"

as if it were my personal protest:

LET ME OUT! 

I WANT TO BE WHERE THE LIGHT IS!

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COLORFUL WORLD?!

The protest remain in silence simply because...

the birds

that are flying above me

out-voices me

when I look up towards the sky again

all I see is a layer of grey clouds

separating 

me 

and 

the sunlight

where I still believe 

I 

belong

***

I take a d e e p breath

***

Instead

of 

looking

up

I decide to 

look 

a-r-o-u-n-d

Then I see something interesting.

Guess what?

As layers of leaves

and couple of build blocks

cause the sky to form an irregular triangle 

within my sight

then

I see blue.

Besides that,

I see 

people's moving shadow

dark, different length, and constantly switching shape

except for this time,

the darkness comes from the light

that I've been searching for

that I believe I belong

that I still believe I belong

***

In a matter of seconds

I am going to get up

and walk towards that piece of the bright sky

that I just discovered

The day is good

and will be good

because it is what you make of it

and more importantly,

it is what you believe you will make of it

***

 p e a c e at bc

Phone Adventure!

Last Wednesday, while I was playing spades with Shawnna the fight warrior against Cindy and Jessica on our Reverse the Curse Tournament, Ronsana dear came in asking to see if she can use my phone to get her contacts. Remembering that she went to downtown to get my purple shoes, held me back from the station while my ill face turned from yellow to white, and send Andria to give me some magical pills to alleviate my stomachache pain, I felt bad if I don't let her use my phone. Besides the fact that she already got rejected a few times from other csa friends, I did not think it is that big of a deal to let her use my phone. So I handed my phone to her...
about half an hour passed after she used my phone, I looked at it. The phone screen remained in the same image for that whole time! I thought there were some mistakes so I tried to wait for it to end again... However, the phone never work on that night.

I began to get annoyed when knowing that the next day is Crimson Summer Graduation... and I was left with no contacts to call any of my friends... Well, I tried the best I can to inform my friends; but was surprised to realized that the only # I know by heart is Jie's because it is so similar to another # that I used to memorized.

even worse, thunder storm and water pouring down the sky on Thursday. So for that whole day, I was basically phone-less, cramming in office hours for my final math exam, took the final exam at 5pm (which I failed), and hurried up& dressed up in 5 minutes and ran to the celebration. phewwww~ what a process. So hectic lor!

Then guess what?! What I predicted was so right!!! I did fell on that day just like I posted on facebook status earlier (sometimes I wish my "feeling" are not accurate, but they did came true twice last week!)... well, lucky it was not a huge fall on the stage, nor did I faint on the stage as my other prediction leads to. I am grateful for that. While I fell on the stair, ppl on the side got my hand and I was able to make it back up before Saran san took a pic of me hahaaa... I wish she did thought. I want those memories... those memorable memories... ^_____^

Fast forward to that whole night...everything went fine.

Tears came out of my eyes involuntarily, I was surprised to see myself being a cry baby within Maxine's hug. =P Then cried together with Shawnna, my dearest fighta warrior!!! Those moments are the most precious that I will never ever forget.

After all the pictures and poses, Sarah san, Jie wen, Stephanie and I went out to eat. It was delicious, not so much the food but the people make the food taste wonderfully delicious. love it. love the crazy photos that we took, love the crazy talks that we talked, love the silly us for being who we are... <3

Grateful night.

Later that night after I returned, everybody was mad worried cuz I missed the check-in time at 11:30 pm(miscommunication). Well, whatever, I could careless, that was my last night anyway. I don't get why the mentors have to make such a big deal out of it (when I am about the same age as them?)

Later later that night, people were partying hard next door while I sat excitingly waiting for my dear friend to tell me her secrets. It was incredible. God indeed bless us and our friendship. I danced in joy for this beautiful friendship.

Played one last unsuccessful spade game with Sermisha, Mandy and Shawnna. haha everybody was not paying attention, then we ended the game. Went back to my room, took a shower, recorded something secret and went to bed early in the morning.

Woke up on a late Friday morning. Everything was super messy and I was wondering how I can pack everything into limited number of bags. I did it anyway. It is called Crazy Packing. Ivan came and helped me move the stuff home; however with only our hands, it was almost impossible to go home. Fortunately, an unknown mentor, Quang and Rosanan gave me a hand, we were able to make it home safely. It was an adventurous day. Ivan and I were sweating like crazy when I opened the door of my apartment, yet we celebrated with a friendly hug as everything was finally returned home. I can never give thanks enough for this Ivan Crab. I called him on that morning knowing that he would be the only one who is strong enough to offer a hand and online 24/7. Though he just woke up, yet he came to Harvard and waited 2 hours until I was finally ready to go. The processes of carrying the stuff was long and hot, (and painful), yet he helped me all the way from beginning to the end. I am so happy to have this bro. <3

That night, surprisingly, I was still able to make it to J2 with Stephanie... wow. Thank God for the energy. I came home that night and sleep until 3 pm in the afternoon the next day! hahahaaa... Fly was right, I always needed at least 15 hours of sleep to make up my lost beauty sleeps.

Well that's the update up to Sat. More to come. I want to record everything that happened last week& the weekend!

P.S. Blogger's tool box is discouraging me to upload photos... so I am trying to seek for a blog that will maybe offer better tool box? =)


P.P.S. I just realized the title of this post is phone adventure yet I wrote only little about my phone. So basically I just happened to search online for ways to reboot windows mobile. I found it. I tried to follow the instruction and it worked! O.O Surprise~~~ now I lost all my contacts, but I am glad my phone is back with me. I found out that I got this phone at 8/31/2007 (Leonard's bday) and it is almost 4 years now! It went through two reboots and many crashes, up until this day, it is still with me... <3 "bu li bu qi" haha... love old stuff.

This phone adventure got me closer to my csa friend Rosanna, that's why God allowed this to happened. I am grateful! =)

星期一
惊奇
灯突然自己开了
坐旁边
做功课
的我和Rosanna还有一位朋友的朋友
六只眼睛定了位
超过30秒
呆了

然后
我拍了拍手
没反应
哦是哦
又不是传说中的拍拍灯
赶作文赶傻了我吗？

另外
Rosanna的钥匙
竟然
可以将我的门
打开
没可能吧！
愣了
安全感没了

如果
你有发现
我打字
怪怪的
那三小时的模拟考试
就这样子
将这位
将要成为Senior
的小女子
弄得 Dubrito？
忘记“愚蠢”的西班牙文了
真Dubrito！

With a grateful heart

Despite the gloomy weather, I can feel a good day ahead!
Praise the Lord who give me breath and sight!

-----
3:15 am
As prayed, it was indeed a great day "today".
with a different attitude, things turned 180 degree.
I understand it is not easy to just change your attitude, and keep doing that over and over for each day. With God by my side, I am faithful that I can, or at least, I will try my best on my part and let God do the rest. I promised myself to start everyday with a morning prayer, no matter how the day may turn out, I want to lay on my bed with a grateful as I say my night prayer.

• woke up by myself... without anybody knocking on the door or calling me 15 millions times. well done! hahaaaaa. 
• finished my last pre-calc assignment with my best effort.
• embarrassed moment in pre-calc but I eventually got over it =P
• lunch& dinner on time!!!
• Javier (my last year's biology teacher)'s daughter recognized me and screamed at me when she saw me "she's my friend!"... so sweeeeet and CUTE! we both dislike chocolate ice-cream by the way! =] High-fived that one.
• did another tatto for Serigo! this time is not a fried pig in Chinese (he's a vegetarian btw, see the irony?), but my awesome Chinese name in Chinese and Japanese. cool stuff.
• spend an hour studying for the test while kept laughing at John for his silly actions and self-talks.
• the Hiroshima-like Pre-calc test bombed me and all my other friends. But we refused to let that test get in the way of loving ourself, ha, went to Doukin Donut(can't believe I don't know how to spell DD =,=). Anyway, Elina talked about her crazy math teacher back at Greece, while Stephanie announced that she is returning to Porto Rico right after summer program. Hmm, we shall do something special before we all return to our normal high school life!
• played spades as we beat mandy and sermisha again! =P... (to be continued since the game was interrupted)
• watched a movie with a bunch of csa scholars inside Bryan's room. The movie was... pointless. But the atmosphere of scholars getting together to do the same time is awesome. enjoyed that moment.
• Here I am, back in my dorm as Sam, Stephaniex2, and I are planning future plans. ha.
  
  today's so free and I don't know what to do: sleep or do something meaningful?
  
  Probably should watch some csa scholars running through the water down in Harvard Yard. silly people, but I love them indeed. ^^ Guess I should go bother Shawnna now, she just ran away from me as I called her name from the window! wakkakkaaaaa...

Rest of My Summer:

okay, time to update:

• 1 week and 3 days of CSA left
  
  1. finish the final essay for Writing! + oil~ oh TEENA BRANDON~
  2. Get higher average at the Pre-Cal final!
  3. Buy a purple dress of 'graduation' in CSA
  4. finish 2 college essays
  5. finish reading Commencement & 1984? (nearly impossible)
  6.  shop for books! 5 summer readings + few essays
     
     
• Aug8-Aug 15: literally a WEEK in between
  
  
  1. send out application for Williams
  2. personal tutor for Vivian? hmm I wonder
  3. Hangouts!!!
  4. Pack up> Aug 16, 7:00am- fly to ShangHai I am off!
     
     Sept.7 Off the plane> lovely home
     ---> next day, off to a new day of school I go> SENIOR!!!
     
     Something is missing in my plan... but what?

吃得苦中苦，方為人上人

I absolutely adore Chinese Proverbs.

They can an be interpret in depth in so many layers.
For every unique experience that I gained; I felt extremely excited to have a Chinese Proverb that fit perfectly about how I felt.

So tonight was a rough night. Actually yesterday was a rough day also. But I pulled through it. Now I am renewed.

A new day is ahead. I ought not to waste it in any way.
Make each day precious, that's what I keep reminding myself.

I found a weakness and learn something new about myself. interesting~吃得苦中苦，方為人上人。
don't let MY comfort zone weakens me,
fighta warrior just does not become a warrior in a day, she is expected to overcome countless failures and discover endless weaknesses. Nevertheless, as long as she is alive, she will keep fightin'.

+Oil!Thanks Shawnna, Pouchy, and maybe Sergio.

Addiction...

I really dislike the feeling of knowing that 3 hours had been wasted on something that was not even beneficial to my mental health, physically health, spiritual healthy or anything of that sort.

sigh, self-control yanyi!!!
No more crazy card games like that~

GAME it is

So after 2 hour of intense math test, my brain was completely numb with all the math. So after going to Pinoccio to get the food with Long, I decided it would be a good idea to find way to relax the numbness.(< this word sounds like dumbness to me) Anyway!

Shawnna taught me how to play THE-MOST-INTENSE-CARD GAME in the universe! it takes so much mental strategy, communication and teamwork with your partner. I love it! This game definitely beats President, my ex-favorite this year, and "Heart-Attack" that I learned a while ago.

Good stuff, I am going to miss this day of CSA for sure.

P.S. Long's email was funny. ha.

媽媽煮的晚餐

從小到大，吃過媽媽煮的無數餐晚飯，今晚的特別值得回味。。。

在這大而空蕩蕩的dorm裡聽著音樂配合上外面下雨的音調，加上時不時吹來的涼風，讓我非常的感觸。日後上大學後，懷念的大概就是這種感覺吧。

吃著吃著，我打電話給媽媽：“媽，你今天用滾水煮的食物真的很好吃！厲害啊”
“呵呵，是你肚子餓的緣故吧”

我心裡暗笑了：
不，是因為你的心意。
是因為你害怕我遲到，沒有時間吃晚餐所以靈機一閃用滾水煮飯的那份心意。老實說，飯挺硬的，卻異常的好口感。
我今晚吃的，不單單是晚飯，是媽媽的愛，是媽媽的犧牲，是媽媽這麼多年來一直想給我表達的母愛。

電話過線後，我心裡非常的感恩。
神 賜給我了世上最好的媽媽，我唯一的媽媽。

今天早上崇拜的時候我就立了志，
無論發生甚麼事情，我也要孝敬我媽媽。
從今天開始，我答應  神我不會再罵我媽媽一句，也不會說讓她難受的事情。
她為我做的，為我犧牲的，實在是太多了。
從前無知的我竟然還常常跟她計算呢！

主啊，
以前的我很自私，
為了自己的快樂可以拋下家裡的人不管，
早出晚歸的生活我不要再過了。
我的心，要專心事奉主，要專心的愛家人。
我的心，要從自私變為無私，無條件的愛。
願 神你繼續教導我甚麼是無私的愛，甚麼是犧牲般的愛。
奉主名求，阿們！

CAPAY Bottle 大變身！

一位非常之有創意的不明人士在我前天遺留在Ticknor的CAPAY WaterBottle 上貼了一張簡單而有趣的圖。今天當我領回的時候，WBottle 身上神奇地多了一張紫色的小圖案。這個人挺有心思嘛，給我的WBottle 畫畫還幫我用膠紙貼上了！

想著想著，
就開始猜那個人是在甚麼情況，甚麼心情下畫這個圖的呢？畫完之後，又是甚麼東西給予這人靈感去拿膠紙把它貼上呢？呵呵，我不知道。。。 不過不要緊，因為這人已經成功地將他／她的創意藝術品送出，也得到接收人的欣賞了。哈哈，難道那不是最重要的嘛？^________^

個人很欣賞這些奇怪，“來歷不明”的surprise daily treats
讓生活增加趣味。
昨天從手機傳來的那個“心心”依然讓我開心的很呢！

That's what's up!

"Yes...!" I suddenly popped up on my bed as my roommate Sermisha stared at me with a huge question mark on her face.

After rolling in bed for a good 45 minutes, I was wondering why I could not fall asleep at all. Usually by this time I would be sleeping, or at least sleepy after a long workload day. But not tonight. Something was in my mind even though I could not clearly identify what it is.

Tonight was an adventurous night. I overcame the temptation of eating that delicious slice of pizza. I thoughtfully spend time with my favorite stuff animal- タママ, and admiring its cuteness (something that I seldom do). I received a lovely, super warm blanket from my roommate Sermisha to fight against the unusual cold summer night. I switched my pillow to the other side of the bed so I can have a better chance of falling at sleep. I aimlessly wondered through the internet hoping that I will get tired and thus, be able to sleep soon. I even heard that huge bug's wings flipping around me and vanished into the spacious room and count sheeps like a child but only finding myself stopping after two rounds of both hands. After doing all of these, I lay in my bed... waiting for tomorrow to come once my eyes is open again.

Well, it did not work at all. I became more awake afterward.

I was still wide awake even with my eyes closed, needless to restate that I had done nearly everything to make myself fall asleep. My whole body was ready to sleep... except for my mind. My mind was more awake than in daytime. At moments, I found myself replaying the scene of the writing course that I had from 6:30 to 9:30pm. I even heard the conversations played in my mind clearly.

I was not surprised for the replay. But something else occurred to me that was worth a note. That is why I am still up right now (at blogger) to write it down. After all these failures of attempting to go to sleep, I allow myself to contemplate upon the writing draft that I started on Monday. This paper is not due until next Wed. As usual, my mind choose to ignore it for a few days before picking it up and squeeze certain brain juice to come up with in-depth thesis and meaningful sentences. Once I permit myself to ponder upon the subject of morality, something magically happened. I suddenly got idea for a really interesting hook for my essay that I did not expect to come up. In addition, this hook perfectly connects to the argument that I make later on in the essay! Isn't it exciting?! ha... no wonder Yanyi popped out of her bed regardless of how sleepy she was! (sike! I am still wide-awake...oh man~,~)

off to the hook, here I come!

What a surprise!

After working on math problem sets for nearly 2 hours, I felt exhausted. When I went over to bed and checked out my phone, I received a new "photo message". What would it be? I wondered. Since I don't text a lot, I seldom receive such message. I opened the message thinking that it might be a T-mobile Ad. SURPRISE! I saw a picture of a heart formed by the clouds in the perfect blue background. ^____^ this is so amazing. Immediately, I gave thanks to God for this "little sweet treat" after my hard work. I went on to check on the #, it was unknown. I don't know who it is. But it does not really matter, what matters is that she/ he knows me and my "heart" album, I felt so loved. heheeee...

Eventually, I found out who it is though! ha. 

It's beautiful.

A day to be remembered

As a reward for my time management, I decided to allow myself to upload pictures that I took last week.

Uploading picture is a reward for me because ever since I moved into CSA, I am so overloaded with the two summer courses: PreCalc& Social and Ethical Issues Writing Class. Aside from these two main courses I have Math & Verbal SAT Prep (total of 4 workbooks), College Prep class, Study Skills Class, College essay class, meetings with mentor & guidance counselor and so on and so forth. Almost every day from 9 a.m, I will go to one of these. Then in the afternoon from 1:30-2:45 is my math course (I like this class because Pedram, my professor, is so funny! hehe, he has Iranian accent). On Mon and Wed I have the writing course with Professor Susan! ^^ (writing is from 6:30-9:30 at night but I loooove her and the course! more than Pedram because the discussion in her class are so engaging and interesting. She's laid back and "chill"). I went to her office hour and discuss about my draft today. It was so inspiration and her advise really guide me to a new page in my draft for Essay1. I was so happy when I got a "Check +" for my narrative. I love compliments from authority figure (who doesn't?) not only because she is a Harvard Professor, but I really like comments from someone who enjoys my writing. =] + oil Yanyi!

today is a day to be remembered because...

• I had a delicious breakfast!
• I brainstormed on my college essay, and got started.
• I ate 10+ Buffalo wings! wakakaaa piggy me~ 
• I spend 2 hours on math in the afternoon knowing that I will play vball later. (Jamie was right, when I choose to do homework first, I can enjoy playing as much as possible with no worries!) 
• I played volleyball for 2 hours straight in the full court setting. Met some new people (volleyball lovers), it's so nice to see so many people love the sport that I am passionate also. 
• I saw Jenny! (a girl that I met during lunch) Last time when we first met each other at lunch, I told her I will see her around so there is no need to exchange contact yet. Ha, see! It's so exciting meeting new people~ Speaking of that: I met Elina from Greece, Stephanie from Porto Rico, Jenny from Beijing, Mark from ???, Torsten from France! ^^
• I shot the basketball for 30 minutes. hahaaa, love that! (though still secretly complain about woman's mistreatment on this particular sport! if you know me, you will know what I mean)
• I played guitar with Alex. He finally figured out the chords of the song "say it's possible", and we are rehearsing for Talent Show at the end of CSA. I had so much fun laughing at his way of singing high notes... hahaa Exciting!
• I uploaded my pictures to my computer, and really like it! YAY!

Everything seemed to happened just perfectly today. So I am so grateful right now. Though I don't know how tomorrow is going to be... but I keep in mind that quote that "you don't get to live twice" and trying to enjoy every as much as possible... regardless of the environment. 

Let you see the sweaty me! love the sweats ha.