颶風的這一天

這一天的自己，胡思亂想了很多很多。

上個星期發生的事，這個星期的爆颶風 ，被提醒了生命可貴。

紀念著身處在遠方體驗生活的友人，好想知道那是甚麼樣的感覺。離鄉背井的生活，享受嗎？大學後的自己，想要怎樣的生活？從前好享受獨自一人在房間裡聽著音樂做著自己喜歡的事情。現在好像有點不同了。看著窗外的落葉，被大風吹得凌亂凌亂的。自己卻莫名其妙地羨慕著落葉，滿股衝勁地想跑出外面在雨中奔跑。奇怪吧？這或許就是燕儀潛意識對現況的感受。慢慢地長大，發現生活有著越來越多的約束。不喜歡這樣的約束，卻沒辦法改變，這就是現實嗎？這社會，這文化，這環境，某程度上就像這颶風，吹得很多很多的年輕人無定向地不停旋轉。隨風而飄的生活，有意義嗎？不願隨波逐流的這些，要怎樣才能堅強起來？要活得有意義就要鼓起勇氣作出犧牲。

“所以弟兄們，
我以神的慈悲勸你們，
將身體獻上，
當作活祭，是聖潔的，是神所喜悅的；
你們如此事奉乃是理所當然的。
不要效法這個世界，
只要心意更新而變化，
叫你們察驗何為神的善良、純全、可喜悅的旨意。”
羅馬書12：1－2

看完［The Human Experience］這部紀錄片，真感動。
原來自己有些經歷被遺忘了，有些熱情被忙碌的生活熄滅了 ：／
難怪近來總有這樣的感覺：心裡老是差了一點點東西。。。
The Human Experience 鼓舞人心的語錄(inspiring, encouraging quotes)：

1. Experience I: Homeless in New York

• "People take granted in life"
• "You can't say that everyone's bad; everyone has something that happened to them"
• "people did not want the dog to be frozen to death... they let me standing there" By an old homeless woman.
  (one of the reasons why I sometimes raise my eyebrows when people treat their pet better than another human being)
• "Because they are not living it, not experiencing it... I am homeless and I am happy"
  (this echoes an experience I heard from an homeless man I met this past Spring during Freshman Leadership Project)
• "Why is life worth living?"
  "People become depressed because the part of them that sustain hope is broken"
  "the nature of life is to be hopeful" - a medical doctor
• "I am here for a purpose. I do not know what that purpose is"
  "Everyone has faults."
  "I am here to help and to ask for help"- a homeless man from the soup kitchen
• Jeff, the main narrator, shares his insights:
  "homelessness = vulnerability, might causes embarrassment, led to humility."
• "We have a heart, body, mind and soul"
  (My thought: while people often ask, "why can't they just get a job and support themselves?" I was reminded that these homeless people mostly do not have any government issue IDs. Employers are most likely to judge them by the way how they are dressed/sometimes smelled. My take: Don't expect others to live up to your standard. Their incapability of meeting your expectation does not imply their failure. Why can't we think of ways to make their lives easier?)
• "Experience is a teacher"
• "Human experience define how we communicate"
• "Ideas are abstractions and thoughts, they need to root in reality"
• A community of homeless people
  (Just some thoughts regarding to my own experience:
  行別人行的路，以別人的經歷為標準，
  我不甘心（這樣活著）；
  慢慢體會到這社會的分離；
  “rather to be hate for who you are, than to be loved for who you are not";)
• "We must rapidly begin the shift from a 'thing-oriented' society to a 'person-oriented' society"- Martin Luther King Jr.

       2. Experience II: Visiting Children's Home in Lima, Peru

• "Anybody can do what I do at Emory"
  "If I didn't do it, I would regret for the rest of my life"
  - Dr. Tong who decided to give up his nice house, car, job to be with the marginalized children in Lima, Peru. *Full Respect*
• Jeff's sharing:"bad experience growing up, bad father figure, a stranger"
• "vulnerable and innocent, father takes advantages of her (little girl)"
•  "It's not what we give them, it's what they give to us. ...because they give us the reason to live"
  "The joy of living- these children wanted to live, did not mind how painful it is"
  - Permanent volunteer Terri
• "[people need to] look outside the box and see how mant cultures are there" - Volunteer
• "The tears of suffering of an innocent child"
  "Every human being is looking for a meaning"
  "who are you?" - Priest
• "I need to live, I need to get an education, I need to get a job because somebody needs us"
• "If my life matters..." Challenging the Western way of thinking, where people are constantly competing with each other for jobs. Rejection after rejection, is one's life still matter? OF COURSE! *think outside the box*
• "Mature people go deeper and deeper into their life purpose"
• "Everyone can live a full life, regardless of childhood upbringing"
  (This quote is so powerful, to me personally and to many of my friends who had a difficult childhood.)

3. Experience III: Leper of Ghana (I thought lepers only happened in the Biblical time? O__O)

• "Root of joy that permeates our life"
• "... finding somebody [Someone=God=OnlyUnchangingOne in this world] to lean on"
• "If you have God in your heart, you have everything. Everything else did not matter"
• "Man's desire and need to be in relationship [with God]"
• "Life is sacred, that is to say it is the supreme value to which all other values are subordinate" - Albert Einstein. 
• Jeff's sharing,
  "family means everything... rejuvenate... as long you have a strong home... get healing"
• "By giving yourself, you find yourself"
• "Family is our strongest experience"
  "Human experience"
  "Beauty of life"
  "No matter what happen, life is still good. Life is a gift"
• "The breathtaking reality of a new unrepeatable unprecedented adventure of human life"
• The art of forgiveness: Jeff finally met his father after ten years of departure and told his father that he forgave him. What a powerful word: forgiveness.
  This word liberates one from the burdens of holding on to a grudge, a grudge that weights down one's soul and spirit.
  
  有時候情緒低落需要一個消化的過程。假如一個小孩子還沒有跌倒，父母就急忙地將孩子緊緊地抱住，小孩子就失去了體驗跌倒的感覺，也沒機會學會自己站起來。 面對著情緒低落的自己，我沒有忘記向天父求救，也沒有忘記去注意天父的回應。但凡事都有一個過程。在這過程裡，我要學會信靠天父，也要學會這過程中埋藏的人生課。或許在這過程中，我只花時間去胡思亂想，毫無價值所言，但這本身也是一堂課。這堂課就是不要浪費時間去胡思亂想。胡思亂想跟深思有著很大的區別，需要智慧去分別。而這智慧，就求天父賜給燕儀！
  
  今天找回遺失很久很久的基督教radio，聽著熟悉的詩歌，我的心，跟著一起歌唱。颶風挑起混亂的一切卻讓我的房間顯得特別的安寧。這樣的天氣，還真讓我特別想念這裡那裡的朋友。有很久未見面的，有剛見不久的，全好想好想 ：）
  
  To be continued...
  ＃WritingRevivesMySoul