Poetry for OTE

"like a beautiful butterfly spreading her wings 

towards the gorgeous sunflower fields"

these are the last words in my college essay

Stay beautiful, Yanyi.

No matter where you are in the future,

be yourself and stay beautiful

That's my promise for my future self

Over and over again I told myself, 

I am ready

I am ready to leave

I am ready to explore

I am ready to grow

I am ready to be heard

I am ready to fly away

fly far far away...

But wait,

I heard a voice holding me back.

In Chinese she says,

daughter,

don't go too far

this family can not afford to lose you

your little brother needs you

I am not ready to let you go

the world is too dangerous

I need keep you by my side

so I can watch over you

don't go too far

I took her words into my heart,

but I excused myself:

Mother, please let me go.

let me go out to the world

so I can learn to protect you

I will be back

I promise.

Six weeks into OTE,

I realize that the world is so big,

that I can never understand how each and every of you

rises above your hardships and survives to make it to OTE

I may not understand, 

but I can listen.

I can try to feel how you feel.

In a community with 47 other OTE scholars,

every single day,

I learned from 47 different personalities.

I remembered the first time when a scholar shared with me her story

in the green line back to Boston.

The ride felt longer than usual,

because I was exposed to a heartfelt conversation

that I rarely experience

The strength in her voice,

and the passion in her eyes,

painted her face with angelic beauty.

I told her

I can never understand what you went through

but I promise to be your support.

I may not be there in the past,

but I promise I will be there for you in the future.

That was actually the moment when OTE is no longer just a summer program,

OTE is my new family. 

Just as I promise my mother,

I decided to protect every friend that I meet at OTE, and at Boston College.

Because I believe that everyone is beautiful.

We all deserve to be beautiful.

First part of the poem that I performed today.

To be continued... :)

until I type up that other half... heheee