I will go, Lord

I was rolling on my bed and my mind was filled with something. I didn't know what it was... my laziness? my weariness from school and other activities? I am not sure.

After a few rolls and minutes of pondering, I saw the book by Jaeson Ma titled "The Blueprint". Jaeson Ma is a passionate pastor who is outreaching to university campuses to plant mobile student-lead churches and calling for a generation revival in preparation for God's arrival. I picked up the book and started reading...

In a breath I swam through the first 32 pages of the book and immediately felt satisfaction and a burning passion to pray! As I was reading, I felt God's presence and His master plan for Jaeson stunned me greatly. As I am about to go to college and not sure where to go next, God once again reminded me today to believe in my heart. For Jaeson, he was the 1 out of the 100+ students from his philosophy 101 class to raised his hand and claimed himself publicly as a Christian...

That bothered him, which was exactly the same as it bothered me when I encountered the youth adults in Shanghai, China. When I said my trip to Shanghai was completely out of God's grace, I meant it to the bottom of my heart. Not to mention the fact that Aunt (mom's friend) paid for all the meals, taxi money and provided me housing in her home, I got to meet all of her old classmates and got to traveled with them to different places. One of the classmate has a son, age of 21, named Bai Zhong Yi whom I chatted with during a dinner gathering. We talked about God, we shared our beliefs of the world with each other, and we talked about history and society. We talked about everything. One thing I noticed, however, his life sounded limited by the expectations of society and the routine life. I believed he is only one of the millions who felt that way. When we chat, I did not sense hope or excitement that usually come from a young adult. Honestly, young working adults in China are often pressured and stressed by the rapid pace of society. All is left for them is to work for money and live a self-satisfied life. As for me, I might seemed to be an idealist and an immature person who never experience the REAL society. I might not have as much "society experience" as him, but surely, I experienced more than I can ever ask for in my age. When we chatted about God, I can see that he was trying to be hard to be respectful. Piece by piece, I shared the gospel with him. I did not changed his mind to believe in what I believed in. But I had nothing to lose. It was a joy to be able to share the Light with somebody who is in darkness. Whether or not he will recognize the light and start to use it as a guide for life, the choice is totally up to him...

Similarly, Jaeson's experience in that class encouraged him to call out for a revival in his university. In the next few years, he was able to meet with bible leaders to share the gospel with more than 2000 people in his university. What a miraculous sight! As for a under-the-well-frog me, what Jaeson did seemed like he turned the impossible into possible. In truth, it was God that granted him the wisdom and provided him the strength to do what he did. God is the one that take off the "im" from impossible. Afterall, God had chosen Jaeson. In the same ways, when we are willing to offer ourselves as living sacrifice, God will use us in ways we can never imagine.

One thing that I really like from what I read is the word Passion. You know you have passion when you are willing to make sacrifice and to suffer to it. I often claimed myself to have many passions...but in reality, they may just be hobbies. There is one passion that I would give up my life for: it is the love from God and for God. Same as Jaeson, I know I can not live without God's presence. Once you have seen the Light, you can not return and just pretend like nothing ever happened. God is just too good!!! He is a living God, thousands and thousands of Christ followers around the world are witnessing His presence. What more is there to emphasis how great our God is except to praise Him for His grace and blessings every day and night, pray to him in thanksgiving and think of Him every minutes and seconds of our lives? No one is perfect, but I do not need to be a perfect person to hold on to my passion. I just need a holy passion to keep me close to my God. I just need a faithful heart to walk in unknown paths in searching of the lost.

Dear Lord, grant me vision; grant me strength and endurance to do what you have implanted in front of me. Here I am, I am Yours. In Your beloved Son, Amen!




Artist: Starfield
Song: I Will Go
Album: I Will Go

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the need
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

**
I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

Send me!